


Deeper Than the Ocean, Higher Than the Clouds

by Saori



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Coming Out, Coming Untouched, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Rimming, Sexual Content, Smut, alternative universe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-11
Updated: 2015-09-07
Packaged: 2018-04-14 05:34:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 25,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4552614
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Saori/pseuds/Saori
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>“Like, I knew he wanted me to move, but I just…” Harry furrowed his brows and looked at his ring. “My body was totally not listening, and I wanted to go there. I wanted to go two steps closer, and then I found myself the other end of the stage and I was dancing to the crowd.”</i><br/><br/><i>“And Louis?” Jeff asked and Harry sighed, looking out into the dark of the backyard.</i><br/><br/><i>“He—” Harry pressed his lips together before he continued. “He was at Liam’s side almost all of the time. I don’t know,” he covered his face with his hands. “It wasn’t just his fault. I know that. But, like, I told him it was, and now he’s mad at me.”</i><br/><br/>Coming out AU.<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Deeper Than the Ocean

**Author's Note:**

> For: D, S and Sam.  
> Thanks for betaing to [Sam](http://croatoanlarry.tumblr.com/).  
> Thanks for the spirit and the help to D and Shia LaBeouf.
> 
> So, here it is. I worked really hard on this story, and could still, but considering that I don’t know what would happen in the future, or what happened in the past for real, I didn’t want to go all-details. I didn’t write baby-gate in it for a reason. I'm really nervous about the reaction to this.  
> I've never wrote a reality AU (is that a thing?), it harder than it seems.
> 
> And [here's a rebloggable post](http://assisreal.tumblr.com/post/138730026807/assisreal-deeper-than-the-ocean-higher-than)!
> 
> I really hope y'all like it! :)
> 
> [tumblr](http://assisreal.tumblr.com/).

They talked about it. Right. They discussed it. Yes. They said it’s a promise. Shit. They hooked their pinkies together. Fuck. That was something he wanted too. Right. Bullshit. Louis took a deep breath and kept staring in the mirror. His hair was in a quiff, which was probably the worst idea Lou could have for now. He was so, so fucked. He had to be on stage in twenty minutes and he was nowhere near ready. The team must have wondered where he was. He needed to go back. He wished he never promised such a thing.

Louis stepped next to Liam as they were about to go on stage, behind the led wall. They heard the crowd and the team was busy with checking if everything was alright. Liam kept giving him side looks, but Louis didn’t bother to care. Ten more minutes. Harry shook out his hair as he stepped a little closer, after he was done with whatever he did before they went on stage. Louis wondered when he stopped knowing these little things about him.

Five more minutes. The opening would start any time now. Niall got his guitar hang in his neck and their microphones were put in their hands. Louis gripped his, covering the speaker with his palm to have some comfort. This was what he knew. This was what he kept doing for years now. Being on stage shouldn’t be such a stress for him. Four minutes. The opening music started to play.

“Alright lads,” Liam said just before a technician pushed past them to tell something to Niall. They waited for him, and then stepped in the tight circle. “This is going to be the best show ever.” As every show. “They’re the best audience so far.” Like every audience before. “Without them, we would be nowhere.” A pause. Two minutes, the opening video started to play on the big screen with the music. “Let’s give them the best show they’ve ever seen.” Hands on top of each other, nobody knew by now what was the order. They used to have one.

One minute. Daniel warning the staff to close the fucking led wall in time. Louis gripped his microphone like his life depended on it. Being on stage shouldn’t be such a stress for him. He shouldn’t promise bullshit. He looked at Harry. He stared at the led wall they were about to go through, little furrow between his brows. Louis wished he looked at him earlier. He would have had time to hug him. The led wall opened. Louis was fucked.

\------------

“What did you expect?” Louis stormed in the house before Harry, not even looking back to know he followed him. Seriously, Harry was such a puppy sometimes, following Louis everywhere. Maybe Louis just wanted to pass the blame to him. Maybe the stress of the first show of a new leg of the tour tired him out too. Harry had every right to be pissed at Louis, not like he made any move to be closer to him. He seemed to having the fucking time of his life without him on stage.

“I thought we made a deal, that we’re together in this and you’d be a little more helpful than you were in the past few weeks.” Harry said, unfazed by Louis’ jerking movements as he tried to aggressively unlace his stupid Vans.

He’d have to switch back to Toms, they didn’t have stupid laces.

“I understand, though, that you were trying to go with the ‘take it slow’ part, but I don’t think that’s what they were trying to say.”

Jesus, how much he hated to watch Harry toeing out of his own boots, stinky black socks on his feet. He talked so slow as always, thoughtfully, never-ending. It reminded Louis to lazy late night kisses, honey and love.

He wanted to say something but Harry only spoke two sentences so he cut him off. “I didn’t say you were wrong, I know how much you hate that. I’m just saying that maybe they make the rules, maybe they said to take it slow, but also they said we can tonight. They said to interact, so I’d have liked if you’d had done it. I mean, I know partly it was my fault, you just looked uncomfortable before the show and I didn’t want to pressure you more.”

Louis waited for him to continue. He thought he was finished, like, ten minutes ago when he started the sentence. Alright, so maybe it was partly Louis’ fault Harry hated to being cut off. Louis never could bring himself to stop Harry in his speech, just if it was, like, not that important. Now he was just pissed and wanted to end this conservation as soon as possible. They were really, really rarely at the same place at the same time in their time off stage, so he would like to spend it usefully. Like, with sex.

“Exactly,” Louis agreed stiffly. “It was just as much your fault. Jumping around don’t yell come here and smile at me to me.”

“I’m just saying you promised. I thought we were together in this,” Harry shrugged as he headed to the kitchen. Louis snorted and followed him.

“That makes two of us then,” he muttered as Harry took out two bottles of water from the fridge and passed one to Louis. Harry leaned against the counter as he opened his, ankles crossed as he drank almost half of it in one go. Louis wasn’t thirty, so he just put the bottle on the counter opposite to Harry and played with the cap. Harry studied his face like always, like he was trying to figure out what was going on in Louis’ head.

“What do you want to eat for dinner?” He asked after he sighed and put the bottle on the counter so he could go look through the fridge. Louis pretended he didn’t know what was inside, an automatic act when they were together. Not knowing what was going on with the other. Harry was out of meat and Jeff and his friends ate his vegetables. “We can order in, too.”

“You know what, Harry?” he sighed and picked up his bottle. “I’m not hungry. Or I’ll eat in the hotel. I need to go back, go around so fans can spot me.”

“Nobody asked you for that,” Harry straightened and turned around to look at Louis with furrowed brows. “Phil said it was okay if you stayed at mine while we’re in L.A.”

“No, I,” Louis started before he realized that really, _nobody_ asked him to make it clear where he was. He could spend the rest of the night with Harry and nobody would care. Well. Louis wasn’t the one who admitted his mistakes, so. “I meant that I want to talk to Liam.”

“Right.” Harry raised his eyebrows in a funny way, one a little higher but both at his hairline – his best attempt to raise just one. “In case you didn’t know, I know your bullshit face,” he threw out there and really. Louis frowned. Harry never pointed out his bullshit face. “But sure, go. Don’t worry about me, I’ll just stay here and talk to Jeff about my relationship problems, and we’ll work out something.” Okay, so Harry was awful at being sarcastic. Like, he had his moments, but Louis wouldn’t trust him if his life depended on it. But he could tell what Harry meant.

“Don’t play this game with me,” Louis grunted.

 He hated Jeff. The whole branch, if he was honest, and Harry knew it. Harry knew Louis didn’t want to hear about him talking about their problems with them. Harry must be _fucking_ pissed at him then. It was weird, if you even saw Harry mad, you wouldn’t think it wasn’t fixable with a kiss and a rose. Harry didn’t answer him, just kept staring at him from the other side of the kitchen.

“Harry, I’m just going to talk to Liam. Don’t make it look like I fucking left you in the middle of the wedding.”

“Yeah, not like it’ll ever happen.” Harry frowned down at his socks and something in Louis’ chest tightened. He ignored the feeling.

“Then I’m off,” he said quietly and turned around to put on his Vans. It was bad, made his eyes weirdly wet that Harry didn’t make an attempt to stop him, and what’s more, didn’t even follow him out the hallway. He kept thinking about his face when he said that. He stepped out the house, closing the door behind him, and jumped in the car that waited outside. He didn’t want to think about why Alberto and Don were still there. Maybe they just made sure there wasn’t any paparazzi following them.

“Jesus, how old are you?” Louis muttered under his breath and pulled his legs on the seat, hugging his knees and resting his cheek on top of them. He tried not to think about the fact that Don never asked where they were going and pulled out in front of the house.

\------------

 “It shouldn’t be this hard,” Harry explained to Jeff as they sat on the patio, beer and hamburgers in front of them on the table.

They barely saw anything at all anymore, even if it was summer and the sun set later than other times of the year. By the time Jeff finally arrived and the hamburgers were ready, Harry was too lazy to move from here. He kept thinking about the fight he just had with Louis and felt absolutely shit for it. Louis was clearly upset since the start of the concert, so he shouldn’t have called him out on his acts.

“But what’s wrong?” Jeff asked with furrowed brows.

It’s not like Harry shared everything with him, but he knew about the most important moments in Harry’s life and coming out was one of them. Harry didn’t even mean to call him in the middle of the night to come over because Louis left. He just had to talk to someone and for a long time now he didn’t think he could with his bandmates.

Not like it was their fault. It wasn’t. Harry didn’t mean to grow so far from them. As they grew up it was more and more obvious that they didn’t have that much in common than they thought. If they would’ve been in high school he probably wouldn’t have been their friends, because they didn’t have many common interests. Of course, he loved them. More than anything. They were his family, his brothers. He just sometimes didn’t know how to talk to them and this happened even in the closest of families, too. And they were the closest to each other than any other members of any other band that has ever existed, probably.

“I don’t even know,” he sighed and lifted his beer.

He didn’t drink often, mostly just a lemon flavoured beer after concert for a good night’s sleep, and just when he wasn’t with Louis afterwards.

“Like, I knew he wanted me to move, but I just…” Harry furrowed his brows and looked at his ring. “My body was totally not listening, and I wanted to go there. I wanted to go two steps closer, and then I found myself the other end of the stage and I was dancing to the crowd.”

“And Louis?” Jeff asked and Harry sighed, looking out into the dark of the backyard.

“He—” Harry pressed his lips together before he continued. “He was at Liam’s side almost all of the time. I don’t know,” he covered his face with his hands. “It wasn’t just his fault. I know that. But, like, I told him it _was_ , and now he’s mad at me.”

“I don’t understand though. If you wanted to interact with him, why couldn’t you?” Jeff furrowed his brows then shook his head. “When will you get the next chance?”

“Since the last concert, Richard told our people we can interact from now on.” He explained and raised his hamburger to take another bite.

He barely touched since it was ready, and Jeff had already eaten half of his. He sipped of his beer and cleared his throat.

“We’re supposed to go out together in a few weeks, but I don’t know how we will manage if we can’t even interact on stage,” Harry said and leaned back in the chair.

The weather was lovely, even though it was very hot, Harry liked this weather. Was better than in England. Louis didn’t like hot weather that much. They talked about a house in France, where both were present so they both would be satisfied.

“Maybe it will get easier,” Jeff offered with a small smile, biting into his own hamburger. He chew and swallowed before he continued. “On stage you concentrate on so much: the fans, the music, technicalities. Going out is just going out. The only thing you have to do is to be yourself.”

“Right,” Harry nodded and he honestly really hoped Jeff was right.

\------------

Louis quickly checked if there was anybody in sight, then knocked on Harry’s door. He waited as he watched Calvin and Oli leaving his room, like they were the ones who stayed there, not Louis. The door opened and Harry looked at him with raised eyebrows, stepping aside to let him in the room. He was in sweatpants and a plain, black tee, and if Louis was honest, he loved this version of Harry more than the dolled up, rockstar version. Cosy, soft, and lovely.

“Hi,” he muttered as he stepped in the room and awkwardly waited for Harry to close the door and just do something.

“Hi, babe,” he smiled and Louis didn’t expected this. He wondered if Harry forgave him already or if it was just the peace before the storm. “I ordered pasta but couldn’t finish it if you want some,” he offered and stepped past Louis, adjusting the plate on the table, and then sat on the chair opposite Louis. He slowly stepped there, but didn’t sit down.

“Calvin and Oli are off, kicking around,” he said and Harry raised his eyebrows.

“Yeah,” he said and Louis exhaled. When did it became this hard to start a conservation with Harry? “Lou said she’d bring up Lux later, before we have to go,” he said as he stood up to lie on the bed instead, stretching his long limbs. “You know what she said yesterday?” he sat up and looked at Louis, who shook his head. A goofy smile spread on Harry’s face. “She said she wish she was as happy as us. She’s so lovely, and we played with her new toys.”

“She has new toys?” Louis asked and slowly made his way to the bed, ignoring what Harry said before. Harry followed his movements with his eyes, but didn’t say anything against it. Louis sat down and Harry leaned back on his elbows.

“Yeah, apparently her new favourites are a stuffed unicorn and my phone. She broke my record in that farming game. You know the one where I always forget to feed the sheep or summat?” Louis knew that game, he was there when Harry downloaded it.

“I didn’t know you still have that,” he wondered loudly and Harry laughed.

“Yeah, I’m like, on level 150. It’s really frustrating, you only get points if you play with it daily,” he said with a soft laugh as he played with the sheets next to Louis’ bum. He sniffed and looked up at Louis with a smirk.

“Good then, that Lux plays with it, isn’t it?” Louis muttered and rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palms. Harry sat up and put a hand softly on his thigh.

“Yeah, without her I’d be nowhere,” he nodded, patting his thigh lightly as he stood up and picked up the plate of the table, back to the bed. He leaned back, putting the plate next to his elbow he leaned on and picked up the fork. Louis watched as he took a bite, then played with it.

“You not hungry?” Louis asked and leaned back on his side. He faced with Harry, mirroring his position as he leaned on his elbow. Harry shrugged with a small smile and offered Louis his fork. Louis took it and took a bite of the pasta. “It’s not as good as Mum’s,” he said and Harry laughed softly.

“No, it’s not,” Harry said and raised a hand to brush his fingertips to Louis’ sharp cheekbones. The older lad looked up and locked eyes with him. His face softened as he looked at Harry, his eyes changed from sharp to gentle, a small, soft smile spread on his face. “Hey, love,” Harry whispered and leaned in to press his mouth to Louis’.

“I don’t like cheddar cheese.” He said as he pushed in the pasta, and started to eat again as Harry leaned back. Harry ignored his comment, just watched as Louis ate. He ended up eating all the pasta, despite of what he said. They were silent until Louis put his fork down with a sigh and rolled on his back, hands on his stomach. Harry put the plate away as Louis talked. “I’m full, don’t make me eat this much ever again.”

“You didn’t eat that much,” he said as he rolled on his side next to Louis, leaning his head on his palm. He slipped his other hand on Louis’ stomach and smiled down at him. Maybe he knew Louis had barely eaten in the past few days. Maybe he knew Louis could hardly function whenever they fought. Louis hoped Harry knew he loved him more than anything.

“What?” Louis asked, almost blushing at the attention.

“I love you,” Harry said.

“Okay,” Louis breathed and Harry smirked at him, leaning down to press a kiss to his mouth.

Louis barely realised what happened before Harry pulled away. He looked at him with glossy eyes and his gaze dropped to Harry’s pink lips before he leaned in again, capturing those lips in another kiss. Harry sighed against his mouth and touched his cheek.

He deepened the kiss, pressed closer and rolled on top of Louis. He hovered over him as he kissed him, held himself on his elbows. Louis smiled into the kiss, opening his mouth to Harry’s tongue as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He slipped his hands lower, on the small of Harry’s back before he rolled them over so he was on top of Harry. He wasn’t careful, and he let Harry hold his weight as they kissed more heatedly.

They kept kissing, deep and passionate, until Harry grabbed his arse. He moaned in the kiss and Harry pulled away, smirking at him. Louis frowned and slid his hand between them to grab Harry’s cock through the pants. The smirk froze off of Harry’s face and broke into an aroused expression, followed by a deep moan. It was Louis’ turn to smirk, than he straddled his waist so he could grind down on him. Harry’s hands found his hip and squeezed so tight, Louis was sure it’d leave bruises in the shape of Harry’s fingertips.

Then he just mouthed Harry’s neck while he kept grinding down on him and started to caress the hem of his shirt. Harry did the same, and slid his hands up on Louis’ side, so his shirt rolled up, and then pulled it over his head. Louis blinked at him for a moment, and then leaned down to kiss him, sliding his tongue into his mouth before he did the same with Harry’s shirt, awkwardly pulling it over his head. They panted into each other’s mouths as Louis grinded down on him and Harry petted his sides.

“Harry,” Louis whined as he buried his face in Harry’s neck, occasionally kissing and biting the thin skin. Harry grunted then rolled them over so he was on top of Louis again, and ground down on him. Louis moaned and threw his head back as he held on his shoulders while Harry kissed down the line of his neck. He slowly reached Louis’ collarbones and took his time to taste Louis there, nipping the delicious, thin skin under his tattoo.

“Hurry the fuck up,” Louis pleaded as Harry slowly licked over his nipples and Harry bit the little bud playfully, just to hear Louis moaning again.

He trailed down over Louis’ stomach, admiring his little tummy for a few minutes before he hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his sweatpants and pulled it down slowly. Louis raised his bum so he could pull it over his hips, then reached down to run his hand through Harry’s delicate curls.

“Patience, love,” Harry whispered as he licked over Louis’ hipbones, just above his briefs. Louis groaned at that and pulled on Harry’s hair, so he looked up at him, pupils blown with lust. Louis stared at his pink lips for a while with slightly opened mouth and want.

“Patience,” Harry repeated and Louis nodded, losing his grip on Harry’s hair so he could continue kissing over his pelvic.

Louis was so hard in his pants, and Harry kept licking his skin and breathing hotly against him. He trusted up in Harry’s hands, but he held Louis’ hips down. He went lower, mouthing his cock through the briefs. Harry squeezed the base with one hand while hooked his other in the waist of Louis’ pants to pull them off. Louis hissed and fisted Harry’s hair. Harry moaned at the sensation and grabbed the older boy’s hard cock, licking the slit.

“Fuck,” Louis grunted and thrusted in Harry’s mouth, raising his head to stare at Harry’s pink lips stretching over his cock.

He looked amazing there, with Louis’ dick in his mouth, eyelashes fluttering as he sank lower. Louis felt he could come just from this, just for Harry’s mouth. He threw his head back, and pushed Harry’s head down. He forgot, just for a few seconds that they were supposed to go on stage and Lou would bring up Lux soon. He thrusted up in the heat of Harry’s mouth, the tip of his cock bumping to the back of his throat before Harry pulled off of Louis’ cock.

“Shh, love, careful. I need to be able to sing later,” he said and then Louis remembered about their impending show.

Harry wrapped his fingers around his member. “I love you,” he whispered and kissed over Louis’ thigh.

“Harry,” Louis whined and pulled him up to his face so he could kiss him.

Louis thrusted up into Harry’s fist, moaning into his mouth and accidentally biting Harry’s lower lip. Harry groaned at that and shifted, pushing down his own sweatpants, just over his bum, to wrap his other hand around his own cock.

“No,” Louis panted and batted Harry’s hands away from both of their cocks.

“What is it, love?” Harry asked and leaned his forehead against Louis’.

“Can you—“ he started, but then shook his head and pushed on Harry’s shoulder, rolling him on his back and straddling his thighs.

He leaned down to lick into Harry’s mouth, one hand on his chest. He slowly made his way down to Harry’s chest, pulling his pants down with a hand. He kissed over Harry’s navel while sliding his hand on his cock and rubbing it with his palm. He pulled away, then took the tip in his mouth and sucked on it. Harry moaned and gripped the sheets next to his hips to stop himself from thrusting up into Louis’ mouth.

Louis sucked on his cock until Harry’s hand found his hair and pulled him up. Louis met Harry’s eyes before he kissed him, deep and passionate. They grinded against each other, their slightly sweaty skin rubbing against each other, holding each other close so they could pant in each other’s mouths. Harry sneaked his hand between them to wrap around their cocks, jerking them at the same time.

Louis didn’t need much more than that to come, so he batted away Harry’s hand and sat up; their groins met as he wrapped his own smaller hands around them and watched with lowered eyelids as Harry threw his head back, enjoying the touch. Louis slid his thumb over the head of Harry’s cock and Harry’s choked moan gave him the final push.

He came on Harry’s stomach, stilling his hands on their cocks, head thrown back, and face screwed in a pained expression. Louis panted powerlessly above Harry as Harry took over and gently fisted his own cock, so that moments later, Harry came too, adding the mess on his belly.

They stayed there for a moment before Harry nudged Louis off of him and went to the bathroom. He came out with a wet flannel, wiping his own torso, then gently ran it over Louis’ groin, who whimpered at the sensation. Harry tossed the flannel aside and laid down next to Louis, kissing his cheekbone.

“We should get dressed and air the room. Lou and Lux would be here at any moment,” he said softly and Louis hummed, shifting on the mattress so that he was more comfortable.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered and Harry furrowed his brows. “For earlier. Didn’t mean to start a fight with you. I’m just…” he swallowed thickly, and then closed his eyes for a second. “I don’t even know why I did it, to be honest. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Harry breathed in relief as he slid his hand on Louis’ waist so he could pull him closer. “I’m sorry, too, love,” he sighed and leaned his forehead to Louis’. Louis shook his head and kissed him on the mouth. Louis pulled away and sat up, running through his hand in his hair.

“I said we should get dressed,” Harry muttered and stood up to search for their clothes and open the window. He heard Louis moving around the room, and only hoped he didn’t make too much mess. “In case Lou comes in, which she could’ve while we were busy, you know,” he wriggled his eyebrows.

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who intimated sex!” Louis argued as he pulled up some sweatpants, which were obviously not his.

Harry looked over at his suitcase, which was now open and a few clothes were dropped next to it. He smiled at the sight. Honestly, it was a long time ago since he had to clean up after Louis. As he thought about that he realized that probably this was the first time since they left for tour, and they were on the road for almost 6 months now.

Louis turned on the TV and changed the channels as Harry sat down the bed next to him, leaning his head against the headboard. One of his hands rested on Louis’ thigh as Louis threw a blanket over their toes, shifting until he could drop his legs over Harry’s comfortably. He settled on Good Will Hunting and they fell silent as Harry got lost in his thoughts and Louis in the movie.

Since Zayn left, Louis wasn’t himself. Harry knew they were, like, best friends, but it was scary to see him so distant, so not himself, since Zayn left. It was a weird situation. He wasn’t even his old self since their management didn’t allow them to be seen together.

At first, Harry thought Louis missed him. Back then, they thought it was better if they really kept separated, but then Louis started to sneak into his hotel room at nights and sleep there with him. So their relationship was okay, better than they expected it to be, but Louis was still strange.

Harry thought it had something to do with Eleanor, but honestly, he had no idea what happened to him that he changed so much. Since he “broke up” with Eleanor and Zayn left, he was happier again and maybe a little more like himself before the change. But at the same time he wasn’t. He kept away from Harry and they barely saw each other anymore.

Harry always wondered about it. Always wanted to know, but at the same time he didn’t. He wanted to ask, but he didn’t know how. So he just didn’t ask.

Soon there was a knock on the door and Harry went to open it, not missing to shoot a warning look at Louis, who somewhere along the line stuck his hand in his pants. Harry didn’t know why, but he was too used to Louis’ acts to question it. He opened the door to Lou and Lux, let them in, and let Lux climb on the bed so she could play on there. He stayed quiet as they played with Lux, and watched Louis’ happy smile, listened to his laugh, and he knew Louis probably smelled like him. It shouldn’t be so arousing, but, well, it was.

When it was about time to them to head out, Lou ordered them to change. Of course, Louis didn’t, for that he should have left the room, and he was comfortable in Harry’s clothes anyways, he told Lou. Well, not like this, but that he was comfortable. When Harry was dressed and ready to go, he paused in the middle of the room while Lou scooped up Lux in her arms.

“What?” she asked, clearly annoyed and Harry just smiled at her.

It wasn’t like — it wasn’t that they didn’t trust Lou. She saw them hugging, kissing and being all couple-y all the time, but that didn’t mean she liked it. She wasn’t a homophobe by any means. No, she was just… uncomfortable with this stuff.

“Go ahead, we’ll just say goodbye,” Harry waved at her and she rolled her eyes before stepping out the room. Louis turned to Harry with raised eyebrows. “Thought George wouldn’t like if we would snog at backstage again,” he shrugged.

The last time it happened was when Louis drank a beer before the show. He’s very… snog-y when he’s tipsy. It was two months ago.

“Yeah,” Louis smiled softly and looked down at his shoes before Harry pulled him close and kissed him slowly, sweetly.

Louis wrapped his arms around his shoulders, standing on his tip-toes to reach Harry’s mouth. They kissed for long, long seconds before the door opened and they jumped away from each other.

That was the first time Harry realized something wasn’t quite right.

“We should go,” Liam said, and Harry nodded at him.

He didn’t know why the fans thought he was awkward or shy around them. Everyone thought Liam was embarrassed, awkward and shy about it, but he really wasn’t.

Even in the X Factor house, he just sighed and turned his face to the sky before asking what he wanted. No blushing, nor awkwardness. He was always straightforward and tried to ignore whatever they were doing at that moment when he opened the door. Except that few times when they were in the middle of sex and Liam forgot to knock. Or they just didn’t hear. He usually turned around and shut the door loud enough for them to hear it, and he yelled about why they hadn’t bothered to lock the door.

There was one time, though, when Harry was in the middle of eating Louis out when Liam run into them, and he shrieked. That was a long time ago but Harry remembered that sound until present days, how terrifying it was, and how Liam didn’t talk to them for days. Or when he finally did, he just asked them to lock the bloody door when they plan to do it. Those were the good times. Now everything was complicated and messed up, but they were together, so.

\------------

No, Louis wasn’t sure what he wanted. He didn’t like the last look they gave the bears, probably because of his bear’s sunglasses. He hummed and put on Harry’s aviators, just because Harry owned like hundreds of them and Louis always stole one or two. Then he put on Harry’s bear’s boots, and pulled out plastic headphones from the box that held the stuff fans left in stadiums and they team thought not worth throwing away. He dug in the box, and then pulled out a hat, putting it on his bear’s head. He stepped back and looked at them. He was proud.

“Okay, I got it,” Harry said as he made his way quickly over to Louis. “Next time you want one of your books here, you should just take it with you,” he said as he handed him the book. Louis was offended.

“It’s your book, Harold,” he said and Harry shook his head.

“Oh, they look really great,” he smiled at the bears, adjusting their hats.

“Hands off,” Louis batted his hand away. “The last time you touched them, mine had a tiara on it’s head.”

“They looked nice,” Harry smirked, and then leaned down to look into the box.

He pulled out something while Louis tried to adjust the book. It’d probably fall off in the middle of the concert. He frowned and pulled the book out of the cover, while Harry put on plastic glasses on his.

“Absolutely not,” Louis said horrified and Harry laughed at him, but neither moved to pull them off. Louis carefully placed the cover in the bear’s hand, then stepped back again. Perfect. Almost. “Do you think we’re going too far with the book?” he asked and Harry laughed again.

“Lou, last time it literally had a tiara on its head. It’s not a big deal.”

“Yeah,” Louis said. Yes. But then they didn’t put a book in their hand to all the fans to see. Especially a book like this.

“Here,” Harry said as he leaned to the box again, and Louis wondered if he could tell that Louis was freaking out. Not too much, just a little. Harry pulled out the sticker from the box, a yellow smiley face, and stick it on the iron under the bears. “Like this, so they know we fought but we’re okay now,” he said, smiling softly at the sticker.

Like fans knew they fought. Oh, God what if they did? Louis would be so fucked. For some reason he always felt like in the fans’ eye he was the bad guy in their relationship. Even if they didn’t know about their relationship for real. But, like, weed and a fake girlfriend didn’t make him popular anyways.

He was still freaking out over the fact that he put on a gay-themed book near the bears, but before he could change his mind, George called them in. Louis threw a last look at the bears, and then turned around and wished he had never put up that stupid book cover. And what if the fans misunderstand it? Like, of course, there’s not much way to misunderstand a gay book’s cover in a bear’s hand. But fans were always reading deeper into things than necessary, like his relationship with Eleanor for example.

\------------

Liam was a bloody angel. Seriously. Louis smiled when he heard him saying those words for the whole stadium to hear. It was enough for him to read his old tweet to stir the media, to get them talk about it.

In Oslo, Liam did it on purpose. They had a meeting with management just before the show and that was when they announced Louis and Harry could interact starting on the next leg of the tour. Liam asked them if he can help, somehow, but Harry told him he didn’t have to. Then Liam saw the sign and decided to help anyways. Management called it a “smart move”, thanked him, but warned them not to go too far with it.

Niall almost pissed himself from laughing when Harry wrapped himself in the flag that had the tweet on one side. Management wasn’t amused but at least they didn’t send Harry out with a girl. Louis counted it as a win.

He also doubted that anyone noticed the smiley on the iron, but he grew kind of fond on the idea to let the fans know what their moods by that, so he sent Alberto to buy new stickers. He told him what kind he wanted, and in what colours. It was a damn smart move.

But Liam was reading yet another sign that was obviously said by Harry. People would know.

And Louis’ smile faded, as he headed to his water bottle. He really wanted this. Really. He wasn’t so happy when management wanted to erase their romance from the fandom, so he didn’t know how he ended up being scared of the idea of coming out. It wasn’t like he had to do something he never did before. All he had to do was be near Harry.

It shouldn’t be scary. Many people did this before, not quite in their situation, but there were lots of people who were gay and out and famous. They were okay. They were fine. They were happy. Louis wasn’t.

He listened though. He listened to Liam’s words as he read the sign.

“My first real crush was Louis Tomlinson!” he said, and Harry turned around to go to his water too. Louis absolutely didn’t freak out. “Five years and still going strong!” he hooted into the microphone. For the whole stadium to hear. Louis raised his bottle to drink while Liam talked about other things. He kind of wanted to change the sticker on the iron.

“It’s okay,” Harry said as he stepped next to him to get his water. “It’s not like everybody knows I said that. They’ll think Liam didn’t remember. They’ll think the five years is for the band,” he said around the mouth of his bottle, then Louis met his eyes and he smiled at him before continuing his way to the other side of the stage. Right.

Harry knew Liam didn’t mean five years with the band. Before the show, he asked his if everything was alright, and Harry smiled at him, telling him even better. Liam looked proud. Before they stepped out the green room Harry couldn’t help but hug Louis. After all they were mostly alone, just one staff member was there who they trusted, and Liam. Harry met Liam’s eyes above Louis’ head and Liam smiled at them fondly. Harry knew exactly what Liam meant when he said five years and still going strong.

And it meant the world to Harry.

\------------

Louis grinned as they stepped out of the room. Liam shot him a curious look but he just pulled out his phone and opened his Twitter app. Thank God they held the meeting in the hotel room, so Harry could easily drop his arm around his shoulders as they headed to their own rooms to get ready.

“Why are you so happy?” Niall asked as he looked back at them grinning, Louis typing wildly.

“What, you didn’t hear them?” Louis looked up and Harry giggled at them. Fucking angel.

“So it’s about the single?” he raised his eyebrows and Louis rolled his eyes.

“But really,” Harry squeezed his shoulder and Louis shrugged.

“I’m going to host a charity ball, we drop a surprise single, we can come out and we sound amazing and this is our best tour so far. Why wouldn’t I be happy?” He grinned and Harry smiled at him. He was so fucking proud of Louis. He was always proud of him, but this time he was really, really proud of him.

They just came out the meeting where they listened to the final edit of their new single, then discussed the surprise drop with Management. They asked Louis not to tweet about it, so Harry wasn’t surprised when he felt his phone buzzing twice in his pocket with twitter notifications. He was just excited, and there was nothing wrong with that. Harry felt like Louis was going to jump out of his skin under Harry’s arm.

He was so happy and that made Harry so happy, too. And the fact he included their coming out in the list of things he was excited about made this all so much better. He squeezed his shoulder again and his insides melted as Louis’ arm wrapped around his waist. Harry would never imagine that he would love Louis more than he already did but he proved himself wrong. He loved him so, so much.

“How much time do we have before the show?” he asked from Liam who stopped in front of his room. Liam furrowed his eyebrows, then looked down at his phone.

“A little more than one and half an hours before we have to go,” he said and Harry nodded grinning.

“Thank you,” he said and pulled Louis after him.

“Where are we going?” Louis asked as they nodded to Niall who went to his room as well.

“In our room,” Harry said and Louis looked up at him. Harry stopped in front of their room. He opened the door and pushed Louis inside with a smirk. He turned around to look at him, and Harry pushed him into the door after he closed it. Louis smiled against his mouth and Harry pressed closer. He wanted this so much.

“Harry,” Louis panted and gripped Harry’s hip to squeeze it. Harry mouthed the line of his jaw and slid his hands over Louis’ sides.

“Harry,” Louis moaned again and patted his bum. Harry hummed against his neck and Louis smiled at the sensation. “On the bed, babe,” he said quietly and Harry groaned before he pulled away.

“Yeah,” Harry nodded and stared in his eyes.

Jesus. No one would be allowed to have such blue eyes. Sometimes he still wondered how he was allowed to touch him, to kiss him, to love him. He grabbed Louis’ hand, still staring in his eyes. It felt significant, this moment. He hoped Louis felt it too. The next thing he knew that he was pushed on the bed and Louis straddled his waist, leaning down to kiss him.

“I love you,” Louis whispered and laced their fingers together.

Harry smiled into the kiss and pulled out his hands so he could wrap his arms around his waist and pull him closer. It felt so good. So, so good. He never wanted to let him go; he loved to feel Louis’ weight against him, his slim waist under his arms. Louis was the most gorgeous human being on earth.

He moaned in Harry’s mouth as they pressed so close he could feel every detail of Harry’s body. He could kiss him for ages, but he wanted to feel him already, and hopefully get an orgasm before the show that night, so he pulled away, just enough so he could mouth at Harry’s neck, and feel his fast pulse under his skin. Harry let him go and before he knew it he was pushed on his back and Harry wasn’t above him.

“Haz?” Louis blinked and looked up to see Harry going through their bag. “What are you doing?” he asked and Harry smirked at him before pulled out a bottle of lube and a condom.

Louis went quiet again and sat up to pull his shirt over his head. Harry dropped the items on the bed before he did the same, and pulled down his pants too. Before Louis could stand up to unbuckle his belt Harry pushed on his chest and grabbed the underside of his knees to pull him to the edge of the bed so that just his ass stayed on the bed. He worked on his belt as he kneeled down in front of Louis.

Louis leaned up on his elbows, looking down at his groin to see Harry’s fingers working fast on his fly. He bit his lip and held back a moan as Harry tugged on his jeans. He raised his bum, so he could slip the pants down. Harry slid his hands over his thighs up to his hips and held them there to kiss over the length of his member. He slowly pushed Louis’ briefs down looking in awe as his member sprung free.

Harry wanted to hurry, but he took his time with sucking on Louis’ cockhead. He looked up at him, and Louis had to bite back a whine. He was so beautiful. His emerald eyes were blown wide with lust, cheeks painted pink with arousal. His hair framed his face perfectly, delicate locks curling around his ears and neck. Louis ran his hand through his hair, pulling lightly. Harry moaned around his cock at the sensation and Louis licked his lips. Harry’s hair was so soft, so silky. So long.

He closed his eyes and fell back on his back as he kept petting Harry’s hair, feeling its length. “Harry,” he breathed and a shiver ran down his spine as Harry hummed around his cock. “Never cut your hair,” he pleaded as he wrapped a lock around his finger.

Harry was so gorgeous. He didn’t like when others touched his hair without permission, and sometimes Louis felt possessive over him, he felt like he was going mad.

“Hmm, you like it?” he asked looking up at Louis through his lashes.

Louis’ head was thrown back, his mouth parted and beautiful pink blush spread on his face. He breathed a powerless “yeah”, then Harry pulled away, back on his calves. He caressed Louis’ thighs with his hands and one of Louis’ wrapped around his. He smiled and kissed Louis’ knee before he stood up and reached for the lube.

“Me or—?” Louis asked, gesturing with his hands.

Harry looked down at him and saw that Louis opened his eyes, looking up at Harry with big, aroused eyes. Harry inhaled deeply and shook his head. Louis nodded at this and watched as Harry slicked up his fingers with lube. He kneeled on the bed, knees bumping into Louis’ hips.

He was so fucking gorgeous like this, kneeling above Louis, hand reaching behind him. He moaned at the sensation of his own fingers, then gasped. Louis reached there, feeling where Harry entered himself, and Harry bit down on his lips hard. Slowly he worked up himself on two fingers. Louis slid farther up the up on the bed, pulling Harry with him. As he pushed his own fingers into his hole, Louis grabbed his ass cheeks, massaging them gently.

“Okay,” Harry sighed and pulled his hand away to reach to the lube and the condom again. He opened the condom with practiced, quick fingers, and reached down to Louis’ cock.

“Okay,” he repeated and Louis gripped his hips as he rolled on the condom, slicking up Louis’ hard-on and let himself sink onto his cock.

Both of them moaned at the feeling, Louis’ hands tightening on Harry’s hips. “Fuck,” Harry hissed as he started to move very slowly after a few seconds.

“You okay, love?” Louis asked and Harry nodded at that. He gripped Louis’ thigh, leaning on it so he could bounce on his cock, and Jesus, Louis loved him so much. He moved his hips, up and down, head thrown back so Louis only saw his strong jawline. His torso stretched in the angle and Louis’ mouth watered at the sight. Harry was the hottest thing on earth, hands down. His skin shined with the thin layer of sweat, tattoos dark in contrast his pale skin.

He breathed heavily as he watched Harry’s cock bouncing as well, flushed and pink at the head. Harry didn’t touch it since they started. It must have been really painful and Louis would wrap his fingers around him if he didn’t know that sometimes Harry didn’t need to touch himself to come. It was so fucking hot, Louis wished he could learn that so Harry would know how it felt, that he came just from his cock.

“Yeah, fuck,” Louis moaned as Harry started bouncing full-on, his cockhead catching on Harry’s rim.

Harry stopped for a moment, just until he changed his position, leaning forward and he reached to hold himself up on Louis’ chest, but he raised his hands and laced their fingers together instead. Harry started to move again, panting, eyes closed.

“Oh, fuck,” he moaned louder than before as Louis hit his prostate better from this angle. He let his head fall forward, long locks trickling Louis’ torso.

Harry swearing was basically one of the hottest things Louis ever heard from him, and that with his hair touching his stomach, Louis gritted his teeth and pulled him down to a kiss, hands above his head. Louis whined as the angle changed and he felt Harry smirking against his mouth.

“Shh, love,” Harry breathed into Louis’ mouth.

He thrusted up and Harry grinded down, holding Louis’ hands above his head. He moved back on him, cock rubbing against Louis’ belly. Harry moaned and moved his hips faster, rocking Louis into the bed. His eyes closed and he hid his face into Louis’ neck.

“Baby,” Louis sighed and pulled on his hand.

Harry let him go and Louis rolled them over, so he could trust into Harry hard and fast. Harry clawed his shoulder where he held onto Louis and soft moans left his mouth as he got closer.

“Yeah,” Louis breathed and reached down with one hand to twist one of his nipples.

Harry arched in the touch and cried out as he came. Louis groaned as he clenched down on him hard, and it only took a few trust and he came into the condom, holding himself above Harry. He felt like he was floating away and fell on top of Harry, boneless.

After a few minutes he finally came back to his senses. He heard Harry talking to him soft and gently, rubbing his back, his thighs heavy against Louis’ hips. His cock slid out of Harry and he whined, oversensitive.

“Hey there,” Harry murmured and slid his hand down, just above his bum.

“Hi,” Louis breathed and he felt Harry’s chest shaking with silent laughter. “Sorry,” he said and wanted to pull away, but Harry didn’t let him go.

“Wait,” he hushed him and moments later they heard a knock on the door. Harry groaned and held onto him tighter, legs wrapping around Louis’ waist. His own legs still hung over the edge of the bed. It was slightly uncomfortable, the bedframe pressing on his shin.

“Guys, twenty minutes and we have to go!” Alberto said through the door.

“Thank fuck,” Louis groaned and his head fell back on Harry’s chest. This meant they had time. They stayed there, silent for a few minutes, Harry rubbing Louis’ lower back, occasionally onto his bum. The pressure on Louis’ shin was almost unbearable, so he slowly climbed off of Harry. “Come on, love, we have time to shower before the show.”

Harry smiled at him, sleepy and lazy. Louis loved him like this best. Well, Louis loved every Harry the best.

\------------

The day after they appeared on Good Morning America, they had a nasty fight. The interview went rather smoothly, the only question they asked and bugged them about was the typical “What are you looking for in a girl,” and Louis was sure no fans out there wanted to know that. They were asked this for years, and they hoped with their mature image the audience didn’t see them as sex idols anymore. So Harry was fairly sure it was management’s move, but he had to swallow and just go with it.

Sometimes, at times like this, Harry didn’t like the fame. He could imagine that other bands weren’t being asked that, and because their fandom was smaller, they didn’t need to reach for PR moves to keep up that big amount of fame. Besides, that day, in New York, it was Lottie’s birthday party.

Not that Harry judged her. He loved her as much as Louis did, but she was still very young, and she didn’t know how the media works. Of course, she heard stories from Louis about how the smallest mistake could write you down for the rest of your life, and that people always had a hard time to keep private things private. But she was still too young to understand, that just some singing would lead to articles, people judging her.

Harry though, he had a nice time at the party. Oli and Calvin were there too, but for the sake of Louis’ party boy image he didn’t expect anything else. He kept talking to Xander and a lots of Lottie’s and Louis’ friends, who he happened to like, which was rare, but some of them were okay. Louis was around a lot, but he mainly kept his company to Liam and his friends and family. He had a drunken argument with one of Lottie’s friend about dogs, and tried to hush Lottie when he noticed she sang into the camera.

They left the party separated with the promise to see each other at home, since Louis wanted to go back to the hotel with his family to have a little more private celebration, and Harry led Xander home. When he arrived back to the hotel, he found Louis spayed out on his stomach on the bed. Good. Harry would never let him sleep on his back when he drank. That few times when he was so drunk, he threw up while sleeping taught him how to handle the situation and not to freak out like the first time. That was actually one of the worst days in Harry’s life.

He stripped off his clothes and took what he could off Louis, then rolled him on his side of the bed. Louis groaned at the sensation but didn’t stir, so Harry threw a blanket over his small, sleeping form. Before he climbed in the bed he searched through their bag for Louis’ painkillers, and brought an ice cold glass of water. He ringed the room service to ask them to wake him at 8, and to bring omelette up half an hour later. After he was done he crawled under the blankets, next to the unmoving Louis. He laid on his stomach too, one hand threw over Louis’ waist, and pressed a kiss to his temple before dozing off.

Next morning at 8 AM the room’s phone rang. Louis groaned loudly and Harry rolled over to pick up the phone, thanking for the wakeup call. He watched Louis with furrowed brows. Sometime while they slept he curled up on his side and clutched a pillow to his chest. Harry got up and went in the bathroom, washing his face and brushing his teeth, he took a piss, then went back the bedroom. Louis still hadn’t moved, and breathed softly against his pillow.

He opened the door at 8:29, found himself in front of a hotel employee with a tray in front of him. He smiled at him and thanked quietly before he rolled the tray in the room, closing the door after himself. He didn’t want to wake Louis up so he sat at the table in the room, and started to eat. Before he could finish the first bite Louis’ phone started to ring, somewhere on the floor. Harry looked around, and soon found it in his pants. He looked at the caller ID and sighed, answering the call.

“Hello?” he said in a hushed tone, not to wake Louis up.

“Harry? I thought I called Louis,” Ben said and Harry shrugged.

“Sleeping. How can I help you?”

“Wake him up, for starters,” Ben said and cleared his throat. “He needs to be here at least by nine, or I’m going to get him.”

“Why?” Harry furrowed his brows. Usually they didn’t make individual meetings.

“We need to talk to him and his family. Oh, it would be lovely if you would wake them up too.” Harry frowned. Louis’ family often went on meetings with the team, but they usually didn’t need Louis there.

“Why?” he asked and Ben let out a pejorative sound.

“You ask too many questions. Nine AM, Harry. In the meeting room.”

“Okay,” Harry rolled his eyes. It didn’t matter. Louis will tell him later.

He sat on the bed, still in boxers and slid his hand down on Louis’ arm. He shivered and curled further into himself, in a tiny ball and snored lightly. Harry so didn’t want to wake him up. He shook his shoulder and Louis stirred, alarmed.

“What?” he asked in a raspy voice. Harry smiled at him and leaned down to kiss his cheek. “Christ,” he groaned and pressed his hands to his head.

“I’m sorry,” Harry whispered and rose on his feet. He made his way to the table and took the kettle off the tray to pour hot water on the prepared teabag. “Management called. They want you to go in the meeting room with your family. I’ll wake them up, you get ready,” he said as he handed the tea to him. Louis meanwhile found his prepared medicine and water, and now the glass stood in a puddle. Harry sighed and picked it up to put away.

“When?” Louis asked quietly, still frowning and not quite with opened eyes.

“At nine.”

“What time issit?” Louis put his tea down on the bedside table and fell back in the bed.

“Half past eight. You better start to get ready. I’m going to wake up Jay and Lottie,” he said and smiled when he only saw Louis’ hand waving to him from under the blanket.

It turned out he didn’t need to wake them up. Ben had already phoned them, and he wandered back in his own room.

He found Louis at the same spot, dozing off. “Come on, love,” he said softly and petted Louis’ hair. It was greasy and full of products.

“I’d rather get papped with you than this,” he groaned and Harry furrowed his brows.

“Well, good to know that even getting papped with me is better than waking up at arse o’clock for a meeting,” he said a little wounded.

It wasn’t like — he just thought Louis at least wanted to get papped together. For the sake of their coming out and everything. Next mouth they were supposed to go out on a date. Not holding hands, not yet, but to be seen together, just the two of them, just to get papped. Harry wanted to take Louis to a shopping centre, so Louis could buy something for Lux. He complained about her unicorn a lot because it wasn’t from him.

“Piss off,” Louis groaned and rolled out the bed.

He padded in the bathroom, and probably fell asleep while peeing because ten minutes later he came out looking the same. He dropped on the chair Harry pulled out to himself, and then dug into Harry’s eggs. He ate half of it before he looked around, searching for his tea. Meanwhile Harry didn’t move from his spot on the bed, staring in front of him.

“Harry!” Louis raised his voice at the third call of his name and Harry jumped a little, looking up at Louis.

“Sorry, you said?” He asked with raised eyebrows and Louis rolled his eyes.

Louis was awful when he was hangover, Harry knew it, but it still annoyed him when Louis aggressively gestured to his tea with his hand. He grabbed it and wandered to the table, putting it down.

“You never wanted to come out, right?” Harry asked and Louis furrowed his brows.

“Excuse me?” Louis asked and Harry shrugged.

“You said you don’t want to get papped. So you don’t want to be seen together, so you don’t want to come out.” He summed and sat back on the bed with his back to the headboard as he watched Louis taking a sip from his tea.

“Let’s talk about how you always have the time of your fucking life on stage, shall we?” Louis asked back with a thick accent. Harry frowned at him and shook his head.

“I’m half out, Louis. And if I remember right you’re the one who never come close to me while on stage, so what am I supposed to do?” Louis scowled at him, then turned back to his (Harry’s) food.

They stayed silent for a while, then Louis had to go. He didn’t say bye, just got up and got dressed as fast as possible, then left the room. Harry didn’t know what to do with himself. He hated to fight with Louis, but he really didn’t understand why he said they would come out even if he didn’t want to. Harry was okay coming out by himself, and it wasn’t like at this point any of them would think they hang out together because they’re an item. Harry just didn’t get it.

\------------

That night Louis decided to dress the bears with Liam. Usually they were theirs, Harry’s and Louis’, but not that night. That night Harry not as much looked at him while they went to the stadium, and as soon as they arrived he disappeared with Lou and Lux. That much was clear that Harry was pissed at him, but so was Louis at him.

“You will love it,” he told Liam as they were still at backstage. “Josh has their costumes,” he said and led Liam down the hallway to the room where Josh and the band chatted.

They looked up at them, and Josh only furrowed his brows as he saw Liam, but immediately got up and went to one of the corners for a little, black backpack.

“What’s it today, Tommo?” he asked, while they headed back down the hallway to a storage room. “Would love them as kings or summat?” he opened a big, silver box with a little key.

“Thought about something Vegas-y or high,” he said deep in his thought, didn’t even noticed Liam’s discomfort.

“Like… Costumes?” Josh asked as he studied what was in the box.

“Yeah, like sparky or crazy, or—?”

“Got it,” Josh cut him off and pulled out a mushroom. “What about this? And since Vegas--” he dug in, and pulled out a rose bouquet. “Drunken weddings,” he grinned at Louis.

Louis was so proud of Josh. He taught him well. He nodded and searched for a sparkling hat. He bumped into the tiara and frowned, and then a slow, evil smile crept on his face. Revenge on Harry for putting this on his bear earlier. Harry would think he went with the wedding scene because he wanted one, but whatever. Sometimes he felt like he communicated with Harry and not the fans through the bears.

“Hey, Payno, wanna piss off Harry?” he asked as he eyed the Batman costume in the bottom of the box.

“No, not really,” he said carefully, but Louis didn’t pay attention on him. They were his bears; after all, Liam just kept him and Josh company while they dressed them.

They were almost done when Louis pulled out the stickers from his pocket, so he could chose which one he should put on. He stared at the green smiley face with furrowed brows for a while. To be honest, it was more fun when he could do it with Harry. Harry always reassured him that the fans would get what they wanted to say. That like this they would know everything was alright, and now he hurt Harry. He wasn’t alright. He was glad Alberto brought blank stickers too. He pulled out a blue one, and asked for a marker from Josh. He quickly drew a sad face and stick to his bear’s shoe. He ignored Liam’s and Josh’s look and nodded to himself, heading back backstage.

\------------

 “Harry…” Louis said quietly as they stepped out into the hallway from their meeting.

Harry turned around and looked at Louis who stood there, looking like he was about to cry. It absolutely destroyed Harry, but really. What he was expecting, he was close to crying too.

The meeting was more like an update, from them to management how they handled the situation. They asked Louis about Lottie, which was apparently what his last meeting with management was about. Then they asked them about the birthday party. Louis shrugged and Phil, their new media guy nodded. He was here since last summer, so they really shouldn’t be surprised about what he said, but they were.

“So, I know it’s not much of a progress, but there are already articles about the event, so that’s great. They keep including Mr. Payne, so slowly we’re getting there,” he said, and Louis still wondered why he always called his bandmates on their last name when they weren’t there. “Now, all we have to do is lean back and let media do their job. We don’t want to seem the bad guy here, do we?”

And really. They basically were the bad guys for years now, keeping them separated, not letting the media do their job and holding back information about the occasional spotting. They knew, though, that when it comes to the real thing, their coming out interview, management would want to appear as those supportive guys, who had nothing to do with their closeting.

They said they could go to Louis’ charity ball together. Louis looked like he was absolutely smashed, when they said of course, they would still bring Liam or whoever but Harry didn’t listen. He was just amazed by their team. They let them go to an event together that meant so much to both of them.

“I know,” Harry grinned and held out his hand so Louis could take it. He led them in their room and closed the door hanging out the “don’t disturb” sign. He pulled Louis on the bed and still with their clothes on cuddled him tightly. They were usually in reserved roles, Harry the little spoon, but this time Harry wanted to make sure Louis was okay, happy little ball against him.

It’s not like he forgot everything about their fight, but they were in this together.

\------------

Their date was planned during the short break after the charity event. Baltimore was overwhelming, and they kept showing ‘Larry’ signs on the big screen to prepare the fans the upcoming date. Louis was almost terrified, but he kept hyped up by the audience. This time Harry dressed the bears, revenge for last time, but Louis didn’t mind. It was clear as day what Harry wanted from it and he succeeded so far. Their management called them the next day to make sure everything was covered. They flew in DC with Liam, then separated in London for the event.

Harry always wondered how was Louis able to ask their management not to blow up things like this. Well, he understood why. Louis was in fact, an amazing person. He asked their team long time ago not to make headlines of them doing charity, so people wouldn’t say he did it just for the fame. He sincerely cared about the things he donated to, and he was always afraid people would assume he just made it out of fashion for fame. So far it worked, and by keeping it more or less low-key, people and fans understood that he genuinely wanted to do good. Harry just wished that sometimes he would let them paint his name on the sky, so they would know that without looking too deeply.

The day of the charity ball, Harry flew back to London. They had a house there that stood empty since they last left, and Harry knew he needed to go shopping. Louis wasn’t exactly lazy to do the shopping, and he went on regularly, but it was just that when he knew Harry would turn up soon he’d rather just go out or order in food and leave the shopping to Harry.

He picked up what he knew they would need for the last few days before they needed to go back on tour, then headed to the house. It was theirs since last November, which was, well, a short time, but unfortunately they needed to move often so fans wouldn’t know where they lived. He unlocked the front door and carried the bags inside, placing them on the counter. Louis was probably out with his friends, but it didn’t bother Harry. It was time to get ready to the charity ball anyways.

\------------

They needed to go out two days later. The phone call came at 5 PM, and Harry had just dozed off on the couch when George called him with the details. Alberto would go with them, but would follow from afar, and they won’t be mobbed. As Harry planned, they were going to go in a shopping centre, wandering around some shops, maybe buying some stuff, and then going home with separate cars.

Louis couldn’t say he wasn’t nervous. He was. He just wasn’t sure why. He did this all the time: going out, being papped, going home. He cleared his throat as he saw Harry walking up to them. He looked comfy, a black hoodie covering his frame, hair in a bun. He wore his usual black skinnies and smiled at Louis as he got closer. He was in one of his favourite Adidas hoodies with the hood pulled up and hands deep in the pockets It was incredible, how they matched regardless the days spent apart.

Louis smiled at him as Harry stepped closer.

“Come on, let’s find something to buy,” Harry offered and Louis nodded, swallowing.

They made their ways towards the entrance and Louis’ heart felt like it was going to beat out of his chest. They were really doing this. This wasn’t just a dream. They were about to spend time with each other, in public, like everybody was supposed to. He knew that there would be paps and fans inside, which meant cameras.

“Is this okay?” Harry asked, stepping closer and Louis pulled away out of reflex.

His eyes widened as he looked at Harry, furrow between his brows. “Fuck,” he whispered, and Harry sighed.

“You know, you do this in private too, sometimes. I’m used to it,” he shrugged and Louis shook his head wildly.

“I didn’t mean to. I don’t know what that was. I’m sorry, it won’t happen again,” he stepped closer and Harry flinched, just slightly, almost unnoticeably. “Sorry,” Louis repeated and Harry nodded.

“Okay,” he said and smiled at Louis. Louis wanted to ask him if he’s ready to go, but Harry cut him off. “You know, I didn’t mean it as well,” he said, and Louis had no idea what he was talking about. “Ignoring you on stage,” he said, and Louis raised his eyebrows.

Was that an apology? He nodded, and gestured towards the doors. They stepped in, and Louis wanted to turn around and run.

“Where are they?” he asked quietly and Harry shrugged, heading further into the building. Louis followed him, just because he didn’t think he would be able to stay if he was about to stay at the door.

“Jeff actually said something about it, and I know that you don’t like the guy, but listen,” he asked casually and Louis frowned. If Harry asked that he had to listen, so he nodded before Harry could continue. “He said we should do this instead. Keep work and private life separated and all.”

“And how would he do that with a job that was basically his private life?” Louis mocked and Harry shrugged.

“I’m just saying he may have a point.”

“Yeah,” Louis hummed. “Maybe.”

Louis was too aware of the cameras aimed at him, which he didn’t even see, so he walked a little further away from Harry.

“You’re still doing it,” Harry said nonchalant and Louis bit the inside of his cheek.

He couldn’t help it. Maybe he was fucked up. He didn’t mean to keep wandering away, he really didn’t. What made him say those words days ago made him say them again, and he honestly felt like shit because of it.

“I don’t want to get papped with you,” he said quietly, almost just to himself.

“Hi,” he heard Harry say, and when he looked over, a girl approached him with her phone.

“Hi!” She smiled widely. “Can I ask you for a photo?”

“Of course,” Harry nodded, then posed for the photo. Louis saw him do this several times in meet and greets, but it felt different. It felt like the girl got into their personal life, like she walked in their hotel room and casually stole Harry.

He waited patiently for them to finish, but before they could walk away, the girl smiled at him and stepped closer to him. So he did this. He looked at Harry, but just caught his eyes before he turned to an aisle. He took a deep breath. If this girl post the photos everybody’d knew they were alone, together. He stepped to the girl and smiled at her.

“Hiya, love!”

“Is this okay?” she asked, and Louis nodded.

“Do you want a funny face?” he has asked this several times before, but it never felt this hard.

 _Think about the picture, not about the social media_ , he kept telling himself. The only thing that helped him was Harry’s barely nod as he looked over them.

“Yeah, I’d love that!” the girl said, so Louis stood next to her. “Thank you so much!” she said after made sure the picture was okay. She opened her arms, so Louis hugged her. It didn’t feel good, the hug, after the girl outed them. Okay, maybe she didn’t. Maybe Louis was fucked up and wanted to hug Harry more than this girl. “I love you, you’re so amazing! Thank you so much!” the fan said and Louis pulled away smiling.

“Thanks, love, I love you too. See you!” He said before stepped next to Harry, and cleared his throat. Harry looked up at him from the pink scarves he studied, then smiled a little. “Kid’s corner, you said?” he asked awkwardly and Harry smirked at him.

The rest of their ‘date’ went almost uneventful, regardless if a few fan that recognized them. They took their pictures and were thankful that none of them asked for a picture with both of them. One of the fans eyed them warily, and when Louis hugged her, she whispered in his ear:

“I’m so happy for you!” then pulled away. Louis felt something strange.

At the end of the date when he was alone in the car and texted Harry that they’ll see each other soon, he realized. Fuck, that’s how it felt. That’s why Harry wanted out. His throat clenched and as he swallowed he blinked away tears. Fuck.

\------------

 “I’m so proud of you,” Harry whispered in his ear the first time that night.

Louis felt his insides melt, and he knew he was fucked for life. Harry Styles was the only one he ever wanted on his side. He realized he never said the same thing to Harry when he started his coming out last year. He took a deep breath as Harry slicked his fingers with lube. He couldn’t find worst timing, really. But he needed to let him know.

“I’m fucking proud of you too, love,” he said, and Harry’s hand froze in the process of pushing between Louis’ thighs.

He looked up at him, splayed out on the bed, naked, and stunning. He studied Louis’ face for what felt like hours and Louis didn’t like the attention, never did in situations like this, but this time he didn’t hide his face. He didn’t need to hide anymore.

Harry didn’t say anything. He just leaned down to kiss him roughly, pushing his slick fingers between Louis’ legs and circling around his rim. He kept kissing Louis as he pushed in the first finger and Louis whined, partly because of the pain, partly because of the overwhelming feeling in his chest. They kept panting in each other’s mouth as Harry worked him up to two, then three fingers, slow and careful.

“Harry,” Louis moaned as Harry kept scissoring his fingers inside him, stretching him for his cock. “’M ready, Harry,” Louis pleaded and yeah, Louis almost never begged.

Harry pulled his fingers out and Louis whined at the loss. Harry and Louis shared their roles of topping and bottoming quite a lot, but that didn’t mean they didn’t have their preferences. Louis liked to feel full and filled a little more than fucking Harry, and vice versa.

Harry pulled away to roll on the condom, and then he pushed in. Louis moaned loudly, as loud as he wanted because they didn’t share the house so they didn’t need to be quiet. That was the main reason Louis loved to be home. They could do whatever they wanted here. There weren’t any hotel staff possibly taking photos of them, and there weren’t any cameras around. They were completely alone.

Harry pulled out while biting his lip and looking down at Louis, and then pushed back in. He repeated the movement, just to hear Louis’ moan again and again. Then he really started to move, building up a steady rhythm, slow, sweet and so, so intimate.

“Open your eyes,” Harry commanded and the older lad blinked as he looked up at him.

Harry looked absolutely gorgeous above him, slowly fucking in and out of him, breathing heavily.

“I love you,” he said and Louis echoed the words, reaching up to wrap his hands around Harry’s neck.

Louis pulled Harry close, pushing his head between his shoulder and neck, then wrapping his legs around him too, keeping him as close as possible. It was harder to move like this, but Louis didn’t mind that Harry didn’t hit his spot in this angle, he just wanted to feel him close.

“I’m so, so proud of you, baby,” Harry whispered in his ears and Louis clenched down at his cock.

He groaned and bit down on Louis’ neck, adjusting his legs so he could fix the angle. He trusted in faster, skin sweaty and hot, but he didn’t care as long as he was able to hear Louis’ moans.

It didn’t take much longer for them to come with one of Louis’ hands on his own cock. Harry fell on top of him afterwards and Louis felt strangely emotional over the whole sex-after-a-date thing that he didn’t let go of him for long minutes. He didn’t care about the drying cum on his stomach, because Harry would take care of that later when Louis was ready to let him out of his arms. The problem was that Louis didn’t feel letting go.

\------------

After that, the articles were insane. Almost all of them wrote about their date together. Of course, most of them described it as their “hang out” as “bandmates”, but whatever. Harry never felt more alive than when he read about them in the Daily Mail, while he sat on the plane on his way to the next stop of the tour. Management was more than pleased with their job so far, and they already planned the next date. He and Louis made a deal not to push the interacting on stage, and surprisingly they didn’t even need it. After their date, they were stronger than ever, and Louis was clearly happier too.

Liam and Niall noticed too. They kept giving each other side looks when they thought they wouldn’t notice, but it never bothered them.

But of course, as everything, this wasn’t perfect. As the emotions over their date faded Louis became frustrated again, and Harry had no idea what to do with it. One day he almost broke up with Harry, because apparently hanging out with Xander meant Harry cheated on him.

They would go out sometimes, just so some fans could make photos about them being together. Management let them, because apparently they didn’t care as long as this didn’t stir the media. They always felt terrified before, and hyped up after. Harry felt like this changed their relationship.

For years Harry had to stay away from Louis as much as possible, and now he had to go against that. He couldn’t help being really scared of what people thought about this. Of course, he was already half out, but being out with Louis was something else. Every time they went out he felt like he did something unnatural, something that wasn’t quite right. Sometimes he basically had to force himself to step out of the hotel and seen with the love of his life, and he knew it wasn’t alright.

He didn’t know Louis felt the same. The only difference was that Louis figured out what this was about.

He talked to his mom about it one time when they met up. Of course, she was on tour with them, but they almost never had time for proper talks, and was rare that they could just sit down and talk about anything. With this little break, they could hang out around London, and before Louis knew it, they were headed in the town to a coffee shop, and as they drank their drinks, somehow the subject rolled around.

“Let’s not talk about my non-existing social life,” she sighed after Louis asked how she handled the kids, with them on tour and everything, how much she could get away from them. “How are things with you? And, you know,” she asked and Louis sighed deeply.

“Yeah, good,” he shrugged but he couldn’t fool his own mom. She knew him too well, and even though they spent lots of time away from each other, they still knew each other. She gave him an unimpressed look.

“So, you’re working on your you-know-what.”

“Yeah,” he nodded and took a sip of his drink too. He knew his mom wanted to hear more. He just didn’t want to disappoint her. “It’s a little hard, but, you know,” he shrugged and Jay shook her head.

“No, I don’t,” she said and Louis smiled at that.

“Well, it’s kind of weird, you know? Like it feels really good, going out with him and all that, but at the same time I’m fucking terrified. It’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever felt,” he tried to explain and her eyebrows knit together.

“Why?”

“I—“ he started but cut himself off. “Well,” he took a deep breath, held it in, and then exhaled.

Louis remained silent for a long time, staring in front of himself, then sighed again and looked up. “I feel like it’s something I’m not supposed to do,” he said and Jay furrowed her brows. “It’s… weird. I don’t feel like I’m doing the right thing, but I know I am at the same time. And every time we go out, I’m afraid of how people will react, how management will react, if I was around him too much or not enough…”

“Hey,” she put her hand on his on the top of the table.

“Mom, I don’t even know how to act around him anymore!” he exclaimed and his mom looked like she was sorry, but Louis didn’t need that.

“You know, I think all you can blame is management,” she said and it was Louis’ turn to be confused. “I mean, why do you think you feel like this?”

“Because I’m a fuck up?” he looked down at his hands, still under his mom’s.

“If you say something like that again, I will punish you,” she warned and Louis frowned.

“Mom, please. Could you act like those cool moms who talk to their kids like they’re best friends?” he pleaded with a painful expression and his mom raised her eyebrows.

“You mean like Harry’s?” she asked playfully and Louis laughed at that.

“Well, I didn’t want to tell you but she’s my new favourite,” he said. He knew his mom didn’t take him seriously, since she was the best mom on the earth and she just laughed at him.

“Anyways, what I’m trying to say is that maybe it took too long, this closeting,” she explained.

Louis had no idea she knew words like this. His mom was always against this, their ‘closeting’ claimed it will do more harm in their relationship than they think. Louis wondered if she thought about this, if she knew all along what will happen.

“I saw you acting, baby,” she continued and Louis focused back on her. “I know the signs. I know when you lie, and to be honest, it’s really scary, not to see those signs for years now.”

She looked at him like it honestly hurt her, that she noticed these things. Louis clenched his teeth together, frowning and biting his lip. He never meant to hurt his mom with his acts, but it seemed like he wasn’t able to do that properly.

“I’m not saying it’s your fault,” she squeezed his hand. “I’m saying it’s the management’s fault they let this go this far that now it became natural to you, to act like you don’t know Harry and I’m so sorry, baby. It shouldn’t go this way.” She rubbed her thumb over his knuckles. “You know you don’t have to do it if you’re not comfortable with it, right?” she asked and Louis smiled at her.

“Of course, it’s just…” he sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “I really want to, Mum,” he said and she smiled at him gently.

“I bet Harry feels the same, you know?” she comforted him and he pressed his lips together. “You’ll get over it, baby.” She smiled at him and he nodded.

\------------

They continued with this routine for a few weeks after that, every time feeling a little less anxious about the meetings. They didn’t go on too many dates, though, because the tour left them with no time and even less energy. Their team promised that they were feed the media a little, and let them make the work instead of them. Yeah, Louis and Harry figured they didn’t need more than to just let the true stories out there.

The first real “Larry” headline came out after their dinner date. It was their second staged date since the first one when they went shopping. They secluded it to their next break of the tour and management even let them chose the place they were going. Harry wanted to have it in L.A., so they chose a restaurant and booked a table.

Louis was even more nervous this time. It wasn’t just shopping; they were supposed to go out and eat “privately”. He didn’t know what to wear, how to act, and fuck, why did he think he was able to do it? Coming out wasn’t something he was prepared for. Fuck.

They stayed at Harry’s house while they were in L.A., but Louis got there before Harry. He currently stood in front of their shared closet (ha-ha), and rubbed his still wet hair with a towel. He kind of wanted to ask Harry what he was supposed to wear, but for some reason he didn’t, so he kept standing there, lost and deep in thought.

That’s how Harry found him minutes later when he stepped out the shower. He looked over at him before dropping his towel on the bed.

“Do you know what you want to wear?” he asked as he stepped behind Louis and sneaked his arms around his waist.

He kissed his head when Louis tilted his head to the side, exposing the line of his neck.

Louis hummed, and Harry knew he chose the right words to use. Sometimes if he phrased something wrong, Louis misunderstood and got mad at him.

“Nah, what’re you saying?” he asked and Harry smiled against his skin.

“Would go with something formal, like a suit or a normal shirt, but since I know you hate button-ups. I’d say something nice,” he shrugged.

“It’s not like I hate them,” Louis shrugged him off and entered the closet, going through his “nice” tees. “I just got bored of them, that’s not the same,” he exclaimed and pulled out a black shirt with his blazer and some black skinny jeans.

He started to get dressed while Harry blow-dried his hair, then they switched. Harry got dressed and Louis fixed his hair, styling it in front of the mirror.

“How is it?” he asked as Harry stepped out the closet. He had a plain black shirt, black skinnies on, and a black silk scarf in his neck.

“You look amazing,” he smiled at him and Louis rolled his eyes.

Just before he could respond, his cell phone rang and he went to the bedside table to pull out the plug before he answered. It was Alberto, telling them that he needed to go. They kissed for a long minute before Louis pulled away and left the house.

Louis sat at the table and couldn’t stop thinking about the date. This wasn’t anything they did before. He was almost sure a few paps captured him as he entered and a girl looked at him strangely across the room. He only ordered a bottle of wine, and he drank from his glass as he waited for Harry. After the second glass he finally felt a little less tense.

Harry arrived a few seconds after he poured his third glass, and he smiled at him as he sat down. Louis swallowed and looked around to see if anyone watched them.

“Hi,” Harry said and laid his napkin in his lap like some proper posh douche.

“Hey,” Louis sighed and sipped from his wine. “Ordered some wine,” he told him and gestured towards the bottle.

He was hot. Like, he knew in Los Angeles the weather was unbearably hot, but with that and the anxiety and the wine he felt like his skin was going to catch fire. Harry’s half-open shirt didn’t help either.

“I see that,” Harry smirked and poured a glass for himself too, before the waiter approached them.

He welcomed them and gave them the menu before disappearing again. Harry picked up his without a word and started to study it. Louis looked down at his, and opened it, going through the chef’s special. He liked the idea lamb.

“I’m going to have some lamb with a side of mash. Would you order me?” he asked as he stood up. Harry looked up at him and nodded with furrowed brows. Louis smiled tightly before heading to the loo.

He looked into the mirror for long seconds. He needed to get his shit together before he went crazy. He rolled his shoulders back and splashed water on his face before he adjusted himself and went back to the table. Harry sat there, sipping wine and looking just slightly uncomfortable. They smiled at each other and Louis sat back down.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked and Louis nodded. He was getting better, yeah. Not like they were papped. God, he really hoped they weren’t papped. “You look like you don’t want to be here,” Harry frowned and Louis shrugged.

“I guess Mum was right then,” he said. It was the first time he brought up his chat with his mother. He thought he got it now, what she meant. Maybe she really was right.

“About what?” Harry asked, confused.

Louis cleared his throat. “Well, she said I don’t want to be seen with you because management forced me in the closet,” he explained and Harry looked at him concerned for a few minutes before his face cleared up.

“So she got it right from the start?” he asked and it was Louis’ turn to be confused. “Like, I just realized this the last time I phoned Phil. We had a little chat, and he hinted something, I think he said, ‘I know how hard it must be after all those years’.” Louis inhaled sharply then let out a small laugh.

“Really?” He grinned. “He must never see us around the lads,” he said and was totally aware he missed the whole point.

“Yeah,” Harry smiled at him widely, dimples showing. Louis was so in love that it almost hurt. Harry just hoped that Louis knew he felt the same.

\------------

The response to their dinner date was even crazier than the articles about their shopping. It was all over the tabloids, even bigger magazines wrote about it, headlines all the same: “Louis Tomlinson and Harry Styles on a date?” Their team was more than pleased, but asked them to not post anything, or comment on them to keep it quiet.

They went another official date after that, but that was rather a family thing. They went together to Anne’s birthday party. It was so much better than their previous dates. Harry knew some tricks how to keep his family out of the media. Maybe Louis was going to ask him later, but for now, he just enjoyed the private event. For once there weren’t any cameras aimed at him. Of course, there were a few people who took photos, but most of them knew better than to post them.

Once, Louis sat glued to Harry’s side, Gemma asked if she could take a picture. Of course, Louis agreed, since she had, like, a hundred photos of them. Harry squeezed his shoulder as he posed for the photo, then turned back to the chat they had with his mum. Gemma tapped away on her phone and Louis raised his eyebrows.

“What are you on about?” he asked and Gemma looked up at him.

“You’re adorable,” she said and showed the picture to Louis.

They were, indeed, looking good. Harry had a fedora on, and he wore one of Nick’s new shirts, a white one with black dog head pattern. Louis, as always wore something more casual. Since he didn’t need to get papped he went with a casual grey tee, and he wasn’t sure if it was Harry’s. They grinned at the camera, Harry pulling Louis to his side, showing a peace sign on Louis’ shoulder.

“Hey,” he cleared his throat. He felt brave. “Give me it,” he asked and reached for the phone.

Gemma gave it to him with a concerned look but before she could say anything, some family member walked up to her and she got distracted. Good. Louis needed privacy for this.

He pulled up the Instagram app and clicked on the photo icon. He opened the photo and didn’t put an effect, because he always hated those things. He rather went to the description and typed in: “Lovely afternoon !”. He figured that was something Gemma would write, but he really didn’t know. He didn’t tag himself and Harry, just posted the photo, then put the phone on the table.

\------------

“Hey, Lou!” Harry called from the bedroom while Louis brushed his teeth.

He didn’t answer until he was finished, then dried his mouth and stepped out into the hotel’s bedroom. He looked at Harry in question, then gave up when he saw his eyes were glued on the screen. He pulled on soft sweatpants and climbed onto the bed next to Harry.

“What’s up?” he asked. He almost forgot about the photo he posted that afternoon, so for a moment he frowned at it, then looked at Harry. He studied his face for a moment, then pulled his phone back.

“I’ll tell her to delete it, I’m sorry—“ he started but Louis cut him off as he shook his head and pulled the phone out of his hand.

“Leave it,” he said, and saved the photo on Harry’s phone, then set it as his home screen. “We look adorable,” he echoed Gemma’s words and Harry nodded at that, still a little shocked.

“I love you,” he blurted out and Louis laughed at him.

“Yeah, love, I love you, too,” Louis said and kissed his mouth. “Now, let’s go to bed. Long day tomorrow.”

\------------

“Are you sure?” Liam asked as they sat in the meeting room.

They were off of tour, and promo went well and everybody seemed quite fond of the idea of “Larry Stylinson is real”. Louis loved Harry, and Harry loved Louis. They were surer than ever. Well, not quite, but it needed out. They could worry about the consequences later.

“Yes, Liam. Are you calling me uncertain?” Louis asked and Harry rolled his eyes as he put a protective hand on his thigh.

 Since they started to go out they were closer than ever and it didn’t go unnoticed. Niall started to tease them again, just like old times, and Liam worried constantly. Just like old times.

“I was just asking, since, you know,” he shrugged and Louis frowned at him.

“Yes, of course,” he rolled his eyes. “I know everything by you saying ‘you know’.”

“But it’s amazing!” Niall exclaimed and the boys grinned at each other.

They kept talking some more, then Louis’ phone vibrated and he excused himself from the room. He went back to his and Harry’s, picking up in the hallway.

“Hello,” he said and relieved when he heard Zayn’s deep, raspy voice. He must have been fucking tired as he just flew back in the UK.

“Hey, bro. Sorry I didn’t call you back earlier, crazy flight,” he explained, sounding still half asleep.

“It’s okay, just wanted to tell you something,” he breathed and could imagine Zayn’s curious face as he hummed in response. “I’m coming out with Harry,” he said.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much all over the media, man,” he answered and Louis rolled his eyes. He huffed and laid back on his back, facing the ceiling. He closed his eyes.

“No, like… In an interview. Next week. God.” He squeezed his eyes shut and heard immediately Zayn’s comforting from the other end of the line. “I’m good,” he sighed once his breathing evened. “It’s just, you know. Scary.”

“How are you gonna do it?” Zayn asked and Louis hummed.

“Livestream. Together. At home.”

“Sounds good,” Zayn said and Louis could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yeah,” he whispered, and then they changed the subject to what was up with Zayn.

After he hung up, Louis kept staring at the ceiling until the bed dipped next to him and Harry laid beside him. He didn’t even hear him coming in. He turned to him and curled into his side. Harry’s arm wrapped around him as he turned as well and cuddled him.

Harry wanted to know if he was alright, but he knew Louis probably didn’t want to talk, so he just kept rubbing his back quietly. If he was honest, he was just as scared as Louis, but he knew they will do just fine. They were in this together.

\------------

 “Set up?” Louis asked as he sat next to Harry on the bed. He smelled like tequila, and Harry really shouldn’t have agreed to a shot before they did this, but he needed it.

“Yeah,” Harry breathed and Louis looked at him.

He looked pale and scared, so Louis tugged his arm. Harry faced him and Louis leaned up to kiss him. He didn’t mean to slip his tongue in his mouth, but, well, tequila had effects.

“I love you, yeah?” he asked and never thought the roles would be reversed and he would comfort Harry. Tequila was definitely the best decision he ever made.

“I love you, too,” Harry smiled at him, then bit his lip. “Before we start…” he started and reached to the bedside table. He pulled out a drawer, digging in and pulled out something before settled back in front of Louis.

“Louis,” he started and Louis just knew he was fucked. So, so fucked. “I know we kind of did it already--” he said and Louis had to snort. They did this like twice already. If they keep it up, they would got bored. “But I think this past few months were something special,” he said and seemed to lose in his mind for a second.

“Half a year ago I didn’t think it’s possible to love you more, and you kept proving me wrong. I love this in you, you know,” he smirked and Louis rolled his eyes. “I love anything in you: your smile, your heart, just everything. I feel like I’m falling love all over again, because you’re such a beautiful human. Inside and out. And I want you to be mine, again. Maybe we did this before, but I know this time is different. We’re stronger than ever, baby, and I love you more than ever. Louis, would you marry me?”

Louis blinked and his eyes were wet. Fuck the tequila. He swallowed thickly as Harry opened his palm, the smaller copy of his favourite ring inside his palm. Harry bit his lips, like he was nervous, or didn’t know if Louis would say no, so Louis didn’t waste any time to hold out his small hand. It didn’t take too much effort to put the ring on his finger.

“I love you so much, Louis, you have no idea,” Harry breathed and Louis wrapped his arms around his neck so he could kiss him. “My love for you is deeper than the ocean,” he smiled in the kiss, Louis humming against his mouth. They snogged for a few minutes before Harry pulled away, gesturing to the laptop. Right.

“You better not fuck up,” Louis said, watching as Harry typed away on his twitter status. He just grinned at him as he posted the link, and they watched the numbers of watchers grow.

“Right,” Harry sighed and they heard his phone going off somewhere in the room with a buzz. “Liam, Niall and Zayn wish us luck,” he said as he read the texts. It was probably in the group chat. “They say they would come over if they wouldn’t be so sure we were going to fuck after this.”

“I actually find the idea of getting drunk around our house and grab you whenever I need you a little more attractive,” Louis said with an evil grin.

“Well, maybe that too,” Harry shrugged and pulled Louis into another kiss.

When they pulled away they hugged tightly before turned back to the screen. Harry struggled with starting it and Louis wasn’t scared of leaning in and pressing a kiss on his neck. Harry shivered, but smiled widely.

“I love you too,” Louis said just as the livestream connected and began.


	2. Higher Than the Clouds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> _Larry Stylinson is realer than ever!_   
>    
>  _Are you a Larry shipper? You always knew there was something going on behind the closed doors?_   
>    
>  _Well, good news for you! The two boy banders just days ago made a livestream where they talked about their new album, the fans’ support, and a haircut. The surprising news came after that, when Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson break the months of silence everybody wanted to hear about, talking about their recent dates and newly exposed long term relationship!_   
> 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Huge thanks to [Sam](http://croatoanlarry.tumblr.com/) for the fast betaing! You're truly amazing.
> 
> Hiya!  
> So, since I've promised, here's the sequel. I'll delete the individual work for this story, but I saved your comments and it means a lot that you read it! Sorry for this, it was a mess before I left for my holiday. Since I have writer's block now, and such, I decided not to write more to this story, just leave the way it was online before.
> 
> Thank you for being patient and understanding with me!!
> 
> I'm very, very excited about your reactions!!
> 
> [tumblr](http://assisreal.tumblr.com/).

Tequila. Right. Tequila sounded way better than it should right now. Fuck. Louis needed more tequila. Like right now. Tequila. He blinked at the screen, blank for now, and wondered if it caught how he kissed Harry the last time. It must. That’s about it, and they could go back to drinking, right? He looked at Harry, who clicked away on the laptop with furrowed brows. Maybe it didn’t start. Louis needed more tequila.

“Here we go!” Harry said suddenly and Louis almost fell off of the bed. Okay, they were doing this. But how? Oh, God. Weren’t they supposed to talk about it first? Discuss who was going to break the news and how? Fuck.

“Hey, guys, this is Harry,” he waved at the camera. Louis sat frozen. “And this is Louis,” he looked at his fiancé with raised brows. Louis blinked two before turning to the screen and looking into his own eyes. He looked… Well, he looked good, almost like someone who wasn’t about to come out. Nice. He had a black band tee on, with a maroon hoodie with its zip down and he had track bottoms on, but the camera was aimed to their face.

He would tease Harry. He really would. He would tell him what a great job he had done that reminding their fans to their name. He would tell him that thanks, but he knew his own name. He needed more tequila.

“So, we haven’t done this in years now, right?” Harry wondered and yeah, this was a way to start it. “I’m sure there’s a lot to talk about now, and first of all, I’d like to thank you lot for being supportive and active about our new album. It means a lot, that you take a part of this album as much as we do, and we’re very grateful. I hope you will love it as much as we do.”

Louis nodded at his words. They were. The fans started another campaign, promoting the fifth album and taking their singles on the top of the charts. Louis truly loved them for this, and after the No Control campaign, he was more convinced than ever that they really owed the fans everything. They were the reason that they never, ever thought about breaking up (as a band, of course), and they were the main reason that they loved to do what they did.

Harry bowed his head as he ran his fingers through his hair to get it out of his face. He wore it in a bun more often than not at home, but today for some reason he let it down. It was really getting long now, partly because Louis loved it when he could play with it, wrapping a lock around his finger then release it to see it bouncing back in a curl. Also, Harry was a weird fuck who he loved and didn’t mind when he told him how much it was a trade mark.

“Let’s start off with some questions, maybe?” Harry asked, looking at Louis. He turned back to the camera, fingers playing on the edge of the laptop. Louis looked down his finger, ring still feeling heavy. He got one already from Harry, but he never was such a ring person. And sometimes Harry just wanted it back, so he could wear it instead of Louis. Louis took a deep breath, crawling for another shot of tequila as he cleared his throat.

“Yeah, let’s see what we have,” he looked over at the chat session next to their faces. God. Louis needed tequila. There was no way he could do this without it.

The fans went absolutely crazy. The chat was full of “Larry” shippers and there was an argument going on if they’re really together or not. There were questions though, about if they’re together or not, about what was going on, twitter follows, but a few interesting came across, too.

“Okay, let’s start with something easy. How are you?” He lifted his eyebrows and swallowed. Louis still didn’t talk. “I’m alright, yeah, thanks. Alright, that one says ‘I don’t like bananas’, and how could you?” he looked in the camera fake wounded. Or genuinely wounded, Louis couldn’t tell the difference. “Harry, cut your hair,” he frowned at the next one and Louis furrowed his brows. How could Harry be offended by bananas and not _this_?

“I don’t think you should,” Louis looked at him, taking in the way his hair fell on his shoulder, curls bouncy and delicate. “I quite like it like this,” he said, forgetting the almost one million fans watching them.

“Thank you,” Harry smiled at him, then turned back to the screen. “What is your favourite colour?” he asked, turning his head at Louis with raised eyebrows.

“Mine’s blue,” Louis said in the camera, smiling.

“Mine is maybe orange, but I like all colours, blue and purple and yellow…” Louis wanted to roll his eyes but he figured it’d be too soon. He looked at the comments instead. He nudged Harry’s knee with his own, so fans couldn’t see it. He pointed one of the questions to show it to Harry. It said: ‘Do you dress the bears?’ Of course, they would never tell that the fans. That was something that better stayed out of the media.

“Right,” Harry grinned, then looked through the others. “Harry, why are you so sexual on stage?” He laughed at this, shaking his head. “I’m not! There are kids there!” he exclaimed and Louis so could argue with that. “What is your favourite dish to cook?” He lost in his thoughts for a moment, pursing his lips, then licked them. “Well, I don’t have one I always cook, but I really like doing chicken, it’s very variable and you can make it various, too. And I love to make duck, it tastes very nice with white wine and orange.”

That, indeed, was one of the best things Louis had ever tasted. Harry made it the other night and he couldn’t shut up about how good it was.

“Next one is: is there anyone you would give up your money and fame for?” Harry asked and thought for a minute. “Well, for my family, of course,” he said thoughtfully.

“Family, yeah. And of course, there’s the boys too,” Louis nodded.

“Okay, next one is: ‘Where are you?’” Louis took a deep breath and didn’t miss the beat of hesitation in Harry’s answer. “We’re at home,” he said, and looked at Louis, checking if this was okay.

And yeah, he needed more tequila. For now, he settled to grabbing Harry’s hand where the camera didn’t catch. He hadn’t done that for ages, and almost forgot how it feels to touch Harry in public. He felt like every eye and every camera in the whole world was aimed at him, and he needed to fight with his muscles not to pull back. Harry tensed too, next to him, but then he squeezed Louis’ hand, nudging his knee with his. Louis saw the comments too, that very much complained he was quiet, so he read out the first question he saw.

“What is your favourite thing about each other?” he asked, and then froze. Fuck. He… he didn’t mean to read this.

“What a great question,” Harry squeezed his hand more tightly and smiled at him.

Louis wanted to pull away, cling into his bottle of tequila and forget this ever happened. At the same time he wanted it so bad, wanted to tell the world how much he loved Harry, when they were alone in a room, even if they just cuddled and watched telly, or talked about… He didn’t even know about what they talked, just to talk Harry, which was one of his favourite things to kill the time with. And when they had sex, and when Harry was too lazy to cook so they made Alberto order some pizza or Chinese.

“I think my favourite thing in Louis that he can be very mature and immature at the same time,” Harry said thoughtfully. “That he’s very laidback and nice.” He smiled in the camera softly, voice just barely wavering. He was just as nervous as Louis, but he knew once they’re over with this they can final be free. Not like he knew what the future hold to them. He just hoped that with time it’d be easier.

“My favourite thing in Harry is… his sense of humour?” he didn’t mean to sound like a question, but, well. “He can be very funny at times, when he’s not doing weird things,” he nodded to himself.

“I’m never doing weird things!” Harr furrowed his brows smirking.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself,” Louis rolled his eyes, then looked back at the screen.

“Alright, next question,” Harry sighed and let go of Louis’ hand as he clicked over the opened twitter tab and refreshed his home page. Fans tweeted them there too, and Harry watched over that too, before stopping and clicking back to the livestream tab. “How was your date?” he said to the camera and Louis tensed at that. Harry chose a question from twitter because there the fans didn’t type like crazy and actually asked normal questions.

“The dinner was nice,” Harry started and Louis felt the urge to get up and go for his tequila. “The restaurant was very nice, they have excellent wine,” he said like he chatted with his mom or something.  “Both of our food were very good and Louis ate half of my salad. It was very nice,” he smiled. Fuck, he still couldn’t bring himself to say it out loud and Louis didn’t help with that he pulled a little further away.

One of their phones went off with a text and they looked at each other before Louis climbed off of the bed to search for his phone in his jacket. He looked back at Harry, who just then looked up from the laptop and held up his finger, signing that he needed a moment. Harry nodded and hummed in the camera.

“Somebody asked me to bring back my bandanas--” he started, but Louis didn’t hear the rest because he escaped in the hallway, going down in the kitchen. He opened the text as he pulled out the tequila bottle of the fridge, then while he poured in the shot glass, he read the message.

_“Get ur shit together, u look like about to run away xx”_

It said and it came from Zayn. Before he answered he noticed there were more unread message in his inbox and opened the last one from Calvin.

_“wtf bro”_

Well. Calvin knew Louis and Harry were closer than the media showed them, but since he wasn’t that close to him as the media and the fans thought, he never bothered to tell them how much exactly. He wasn’t surprised that he reacted like this, but couldn’t deal with him. It was already hard. Calvin, in the past few months, had always teased him about the tabloids, like he was supposed to be ashamed of being with Harry, and that was one of the main reasons he didn’t want to come out.

The other texts came from the band, in the group-chat wishing them luck, one from Sophia, Perrie and Eleanor too. The group-chat with his mom and sisters didn’t shut up, they commenting on everything that happened. He got one from Anne, Robin, Des and Gemma too, and with a sigh he realized Harry must added him to their family chat too. They were lovely, sending love but less noisy than his family. And of course from Liam and Niall like a hundreds of them.

The last one came from Ben, his guy from Management. It said keep it up and be a little more specific, but other than that, nice work and relax. Louis kicked back the tequila and put the bottle away, walking back in the bedroom, where Harry told the fans that Lux beat his record. Louis sat back, dropping his phone next to him where it buzzed with messages again.

“Alright, next question, we don’t have too much time left,” Louis said, and that wasn’t exactly true, they planned to do it for 45 minutes and they were still at just over 20, but whatever. “What’s next?” He asked with a pointed look and Harry nodded.

“How long are we going out?” He asked, eyes not even on the comments anymore, just on Louis. He swallowed and pretended to think. Management made a deal, that they are officially together for almost two years now, they dated unofficially before that and the fans didn’t need to know more. Harry phrased the question so both answers would fit, but Louis went with the truth. If they were doing this, they were going to do it properly. No lies anymore. Fuck.

“Well, it’s almost been more than five years since our first date,” he said carefully, and Harry reached for him, not covering this time, lacing their fingers together in Louis’ lap. He bit his lip while looking at Louis. His whole body was tense, stiff and uncomfortable, and Harry couldn’t say he was any better. Louis drank tequila, it wasn’t even a question when he stood from the bed. He made up his mind and finally said it.

“And we’ve been officially together for two years now,” he said, looking back in the camera. His grip on Louis’ hand tightened as the chatbox was spammed with “Larry is real” comments. They ignored it. “So, yeah,” he looked at Louis again and smiled what was supposed to be comforting but Louis just tensed more. Phil told Harry that a little kiss would be nice too, but he wasn’t sure if Ben told that to Louis too, so he leaned in and pressed a light kiss on Louis’ cheek.

“Thank you for having us,” Harry said in the camera when he pulled away. “And thank you for your support through the years, I can’t be more grateful to you. Have a nice day, or night!” He smiled, then exited the window after Louis gave them a weak smile.

Finally. Finally they were over with it, finally, they were out. Harry looked at Louis, who still stared at the screen, eyes blank and he looked a little pale, too. Harry concerned studied his face before Louis pressed his lips together, ripping his hand out of Harry’s and pressing against his mouth as he got up, out of the bed and ran into the bathroom. Harry jumped up, scared, running after him.

“Louis?! Are you okay?” he asked as he saw his fiancé dropped on his knees in front of the toilet, gripping the seat with everything he had, retching sounds filling the room. Harry was fast, wetting a cloth and kneeling next to Louis, pushing his hair out of his face. They sat there while Louis panted heavily. He looked a little better after a few minutes of Harry petting his neck and face with the cold flannel.

“Fucking tequila,” Louis groaned and Harry could only sigh deeply in relief. He pulled Louis away from the toilet, flushing it, then he stood up to get a glass of water to Louis. They sat there, on the cold title, Louis’ head on Harry’s shoulder. “Mum and the others must worry,” he whispered after a long pause.

“They probably think we’re having crazy celebration sex,” Harry shrugged, carefully to Louis’ head.

“I’m sorry,” Louis muttered and rubbed his cheek to the material of Harry’s shirt. Harry chuckled at that, rubbing his thigh with the hand he already had there.

“We can have sex whenever I want to, you don’t need to apologize for that.”

“You’re so--” Louis glared at him for a second, and then shook his head. “Never mind. Can we go to bed now? I’m tired.”

“Shower first, baby, and then we can,” Harry nodded and got up, reaching his hand out for Louis to take.

\------------

Louis wasn’t nervous. Not at all. Just because he just came out yesterday and now he was about to go on another date, publicly. Out into the line of cameras, fans and basically everyone who knew that Louis was gay and with Harry. He looked out the window as the car went through the city. Harry said he needed to go out before that, and then they were supposed to meet near the park. There were some paparazzi called there, so while they drank some coffee or tea they were photographed. The car pulled to a stop and Alberto turned around to look at Louis.

“You know you don’t have to go, right, kiddo?” He asked and Louis smiled at him.

“Yeah, thanks,” he nodded, then opened the door. “You’re coming?” he asked and Alberto shook his head, no. So Louis was on his own. He got out of the car, and stepped in the café, feeling the cameras aimed at him. He didn’t see Harry, so he checked his phone, opening the text that said he would be there in an hour. That was an hour ago, so he figured Harry wasn’t late yet. He ordered two cups of tea, both in paper cups.

He sat at one of the tables, checking his texts. He still didn’t go on social media, he was too scared to see the reactions. He texted back to Zayn, and checked Oli’s text. He didn’t react that bad as Calvin, but he wasn’t that glad either. Whatever.

“Hey, did it hurt?” He heard a deep, honey-slow voice as another body dropped in the chair across him, dimples showing as he grinned, emerald eyes shining brightly.

“What?” Louis asked confused, pushing Harry’s cup in front of him. Harry grabbed it, rings knocking to the paper cup.

“When you fell from the heaven,” Harry grinned wildly and Louis stared at him for long seconds until he sighed.

“I seriously have no idea how you fed your womanizer image to the public,” he said and sipped from his tea, still too aware of the paps outside. Harry noticed how tense he was, and pursed his lips as when he was thinking on something.

“Hey, we should do something more fun,” he said, getting up. Louis followed his lead confused as he opened the door for him and they stepped out the cold, tea still in their hands. Louis would miss this when they went to Australia soon.

“What do you have in mind?” Louis asked with raised eyebrows, and Harry just shot him a cocky smile, leading them to the park across the street.

“Do you remember that time when I had to go to Central Park with Taylor?” he asked as they wandered around the park. Louis’ face darkened, jaw shut tightly.

“I’d rather not,” he said in a low voice and Harry looked mildly apologetic before he edged closer, shoulders almost touching.

“I know, I’m sorry,” he said with a painful expression.

“Your point was?” Louis lifted one eyebrow, unimpressed by the apology. It didn’t matter anymore, but it still hurt. Harry cleared his throat and starched his face.

“What I was trying to say is that we could make up for it. What’s better than doing the same in another city with another person?” he wondered as their hands touched lightly. He wasn’t brave enough to hold Louis’ hand, not yet. Soon.

“Hmm, I remember a way you tried to make up for it that I really liked,” Louis smirked and Harry blinked rapidly before cleared his throat again.

Fuck if the paps followed them. Fuck if there were fans around them. He hooked two of his fingers to Louis’ and he felt Louis wince but he didn’t drop his hand. At least he looked less tense than before.

“Well, maybe I can think of something this time, too,” he thought out loud as he swayed their hands, trying to smooth Louis. He coughed a little before he continued. “And I was thinking…”

“Oh, no,” Louis looked at him with terrified expression and for a moment Harry was confused why. Then he rolled his eyes and took a hold on Louis’ hand, just holding lightly.

“Hush. So, I was thinking, and maybe we should get another tattoo. To celebrate we’re out, something symbolic.”

“And what, “Hey, I’m gay” on me forehead?” Louis asked, sceptic and Harry smiled at that just a little, before pulling out his phone of his jacket’s pocket, typing in his password and searching for something in his camera roll. “I should have never asked,” Louis sighed and took Harry’s phone when he handed him.

“I think it’s quite obvious, but if they ask, we can just say they’re just two lines,” he explained as Louis looked at the equal sign. They could say anything and most people would believe it, that’s why they had problems in the past too.

“I’ll think about it,” Louis nodded, handing the phone back to Harry. He wasn’t aware of their laced hands swaying between them anymore. He counted it as a win later, that he could lost in conservation with Harry so much that he didn’t even registered they held hands like a couple in public.

“Just not that much as you did with the dagger, I’ll go mental,” he said and Louis rolled his eyes.

“You know exactly why I waited with that.”

“Fans are one thing, but you said ‘You’ll think about it’ back then, too.”

“Whatever you say,” Louis waved his hand.

 

They walked in the park for an hour, and they met with a few fans. It was… Interesting. Very interesting. When the first one approached them, they were about to drop their empty cups in a bin, when a girl with long, curly blonde hair came up to them. Louis didn’t notice her in time, so there was an awkward silence while the girl’s eyes were glued on their laced hands, then Louis dropped Harry’s hand, stood a step farther.

“Hi!” the girl greeted them flushed, gripping her phone like her life depended on it. “I’m sorry, I just love you very much and wanted to ask if I can get a picture?” the girl asked uncertain and Louis smiled at her, welcoming.

“Yeah, of course,” Harry said and opened his arm so the girl could stand on his side. They posed for a picture, Louis over his absurd jealousy since he and Harry went out just so they could pose with the fans a few times.

The girl asked Louis too, like she didn’t really wanted to take one, but wanted to have one. Louis went with it anyways, and the girl asked for an autograph from Harry on her new phone case too. Harry frowned, just for a moment. He liked to give autographs, but not when he wanted to be left alone, so Louis mentioned they should go before the girl wanted her boobs autographed too.

The second fan were a short girl in glasses, with short, blue-ish hair. He smiled so widely when she saw them, Louis would bet her cheeks hurt afterwards. She wasn’t as shy as the previous girl, and came up to them waving. Harry waved back. And he wasn’t weird, yes, of course, and Louis didn’t have tattoos.

“Hey!” The girl stepped in front of them, grinning with sharp, little, white teeth.

“Hi,” Harry smiled at her gently.

“Hiya, love!” Louis grinned back. This time his hands were in his coat pocket, not holding Harry’s.

“Bad luck you’re on a date, because there’s actually a few things I would like to say to you, but since you’re in a hurry, I don’t want to bother too much. I just wanted to say that I’m not actually a fan, but my friend is, and she kept me updated about you two. She told me sooo much about Larry Stylinson, and she, and also myself, since I’m a member of the LBGTQ community, are very proud and happy for you to coming out.”

“Thank you,” Harry nodded to her, smiling, and Louis absolutely had no idea how he did it, how he wasn’t so emotional over the fact that at least one of their fans (and one of who wasn’t) were proud of them and happy for them. To Louis it felt like he just won all the world’s awards and fulfilled in everything he ever wanted. Even if this wasn’t true, it was the best he ever felt.

“Now, can I ask you for a picture so my friend could cry over the fact that we met?” she asked with a cocky smile and Harry nodded, still smiling politely. The girl stepped between them and pulled out a selfie stick, taking the picture she wanted.

Louis felt so overwhelmed after that, that he had to grab and hold onto Harry’s hand. He would have liked more if they could just hug each other, but he was nowhere near ready for that much of PDA yet. Maybe one day.

\------------

“Larry Stylinson is realer than ever!

“Are you a Larry shipper? You always knew there was something going on behind the closed doors?

“Well, good news for you! The two boy banders just days ago made a livestream where they talked about their new album, the fans’ support, and a haircut. The surprising news came after that, when Harry Styles and Louis Tomlinson break the months of silence everybody wanted to hear about, talking about their recent dates and newly exposed long term relationship!

“Louis Tomlinson (23) and his former bandmate, Harry Styles (21) were spotted in August on a shopping tour around London. After they weren’t seen together, just the two of them for years, the couple made their first real date two days after Believe In Magic Cinderella Ball, hosted by Tomlinson. Lots of fans were disappointed that after his appearance in London, Styles didn’t show up on the event. Luckily, the fans got what they wanted, and it was just the start.

“In September the couple had a “very nice” – according to Styles – dinner in one of Los Angeles’ first class restaurant. Styles and Tomlinson showed up in formal, matching black outfits. They look very intimate, enjoying each other’s company. They left the restaurant together, not stopping for paparazzi.

“In October, we got the first official Larry picture, on Styles’ sister, Gemma’s Instagram. The photo was posted on October 24th, when the family celebrated Anne Twist’s (Styles’ mother) birthday in Cheshire. The lovely couple posed for the photo, looking relaxed and comfortable.

“During the tour, the boys took photos with the fans while they went on other dates.

“The livestream was set up, as Styles described “home”, both boys looking cosy and lovely. The boys answered a few of the fans’ questions, at the start of the video. We learnt that Tomlinson loves Styles’ delicate curls, and Styles’ favourite thing in Tomlinson is that he’s “very laidback and nice”, and Tomlinson is endeared by Styles’ sense of humour.

“However, according the fans Tomlinson looked uncomfortable and was unnaturally quiet. A few of them claims that Larry shippers forced them to make this move. Regardless what they say, we can’t not see the signs, the few dates they were going in the past few months and the more and more interacting on, and off stage. The day after the unofficial coming out, the couple was spotted in a café and a park, holding hands and being all cute and couple-y.

“And now, more good news just about to come! Every Larry shipper sat on the edge, waiting for this moment, when the boys finally held a press conference, making their coming out official.

“They told us that the couple unofficially dated since the X Factor, and officially an item since 2013. The boy banders claim they were scared of the public’s reaction, that’s why they just now, made the decision to come out. They are still unsure about the future of their relationship, but apparently planning on moving in together. We are wondering where they will buy their new love nest.

 “Styles and Tomlinson tell us about the dark side of their relationship too. Apparently being closeted was hard on the 21 years old boy bander, so their Management went that far they let Styles sharing the public that to him, gender is “not that important”, and encourage bandmate, Horan to “don’t knock it ‘till you try it” with men.

“Tomlinson also talks about that they were more than once “almost at the breaking point”, but they are strong, and hopefully got over everything. He also tell us at the very beginning he was a little scared, but “got a grip on things” and very soon became comfortable with the coming out.

“We saw them holding hands on the top of the table, smiling fondly at each other at some point and telling us that they love each other. They acted adorable during the interview, sometimes finishing each other’s sentence.

“Niall Horan (22) and Liam Payne (22) told us they were never bothered by the pair’s romance, much more, Horan claimed he knew from the start they would end up together. They seemed very relaxed and happy during the event, shooting fond looks at the couple, telling us they’re “so gross together”, sometimes they can’t even stand.

“They wish lots of happiness the couple, just like past bandmate, Zayn Malik (22), who tweeted:

 

 

> So proud of my boys !!! Love you .. wish you lots of happiness ! xxx #lovealwayswin
> 
> — **zayn** (@zaynmalik)

“The band talks about their upcoming album too, sharing with us that they hope it won’t affect the fans’ loyalty and love for them. They tell us that they’re looking forward the reactions, both to the coming out and how the album succeed.

“The announcement already have its effects, seems like the fandom loves the new singles regardless Larry shippers or not. The band’s first single of the new album, ‘Drag Me Down’ is #1 in more, than 70 countries again, shooting us back to August, when the single reached the #1 place in more than 90 countries. Surprisingly, the new single is not the only song that getting attention right now, ‘18’ and ‘Strong’ trending worldwide on #3 and #2 for two days now, along with ‘Fireproof’ and ‘No Control’.

“Shippers or not, the fans now know about Larry Stylinson. We’re looking forward more dates, and hopefully, a little more PDA!”

\------------

Australia was lovely as always, but Louis would like to be in LA already. The flight was long and exhausting and he was already jetlagged from the previous flight. Harry went ahead to meet with his friends and Louis just wanted to be _home_ already with him, not caring about Harry’s friends.

The last time he went on twitter he had to scroll through rude messages from the fans. Of course, there was a lots of supporting too, but he was more focused on the negative ones. He became frustrated by them and he took it out on Harry. The next morning he found his twitter app with a different password and he still didn’t have time to use the password reminder. Harry must have planned it.

He yawned as he read through another article, writing about their press conference. They wrote down almost the whole interview and _why couldn’t you just put the fucking video there_. He read once, that this was just a cover-up and that he secretly wasn’t with Harry. He used to care about speculations like this, he used to care what people thought about his relationship (both with Eleanor and Harry).

Some of what they had to say was absolutely bullshit, and if the comments were anything to go by, the fans knew that too.

\------------

Louis’ skin was hot all over, and where Harry touched him it burnt. He panted and shivered as Harry ran his hands over his thighs, rubbing out the tired muscles. Louis’ eyes flicked close and he let out a small breath at the sensation, as Harry’s fingertips tricked his hips. The only sound in the house was the air-conditioner and Harry’s occasional hums. The air was still hot and heavy, they just turned on the air-conditioner after Louis’ complains.

He almost let out a moan as Harry’s lips connected with the skin of his inner thigh, spreading his legs just enough so Harry could fit between them. He kissed over the hot skin, always stopping before he could reach the sensitive areas, hands still caressing his hips and waist. If Louis wouldn’t be with him for five years now, he would think he was the most turned on that he has ever been in his entire life.

“Roll over, baby,” Harry whispered in his skin, licking over a sensitive spot and another shiver ran down Louis’ spine. “C’mon,” Harry pulled away and gently turned Louis over, so he was on his stomach. He pulled a pillow to his face, panting in the soft cushion. “Lift,” Harry tapped Louis’ hipbone, so he lifted his hips, pulling his knees under him.

Harry liked to take his time when they had it, and thanks to their coming out, and that the interview was only two days later, he could torture Louis as long as he wanted. He ran his hands over Louis’ bum, petting the soft skin, feeling the muscles under his palm. He shifted on the sofa, getting a little closer to Louis so he could kiss, lick and suck down on his spine. Louis bit the inside of his cheek, keeping the pleading noises inside him as Harry reached his bum and nipped playfully on the flesh.

“So perfect, baby,” he breathed, hands on the underside of Louis’ knees. He had to bite back a moan at the sight of Louis, splayed out on the sofa, back arching just enough to show off his curves. Harry couldn’t believe it was _his_. That _Louis_ was his.

“So perfect for me,” he repeated and he only heard a muffled sound of the pillow. Harry nudged his knees apart, spreading his legs that one almost slipped off of the sofa, and then just watched him. Louis couldn’t be still, and he shifted in his position, trying to get some friction to his hard, leaking cock. The next thing he knew were Harry’s hands on his bum, gripping just the edge of too hard, then he pulled his cheeks apart.

Louis bit down hard on the pillow as the first lick came, a flat stripe from his balls to the bottom of his spine. Harry pulled away, then licked over just the rim, kissing it afterwards. He started to circle around the muscle and it was wet and filthy and wonderful. Louis’ cock ached with want for attention, but Louis just locked his hands under the pillow, gripping it and pressing to his mouth as he tried to hold back the whines.

Harry didn’t stop with the teasing, relaxing the muscle with his talented tongue, arms keeping Louis in place. He didn’t even care about Louis’ erection, because he was busy and wanted to test something anyways. He kept licking the rim, just occasionally a little lower, behind his balls. He felt Louis’ toes curling and uncurling next to his thighs, but didn’t give him what he wanted.

“Please,” came Louis’ weak voice muffled from the pillow, pushing back against Harry’s hands and face, and his cock now made a mess underneath him.

“Shhh,” Harry pulled away for a moment, just feeling how stiff his jaw was, spread wide open for a while now. He dived back in, pushing his tongue against Louis’ rim rhythmically, and he almost came just from the long, painful sounding whine that left Louis’ throat. He sounded so beautiful, so desperate, so broken. When Harry pushed his tongue past the tight muscle, Louis let out a surprised hiccup, followed with a moan and something that sounded like a sob.

His leg kicked out as Harry started to circle his tongue inside, shifting just a little because his back hurt from the position. Louis’ body tensed as he started to fuck his tongue in and out of him, then relaxed all at once as Harry pulled away, panting.

“Fuck, baby, you have no idea,” Harry whispered, jaw still tense and sore, but he opened and closed it a few times while massaging Louis’ arse cheeks and occasionally ghosting a finger over his rim, that pulled beautiful moans out of the broken boy underneath him. He watched as he circled a finger around the muscle, still a little wet and loose from Harry’s tongue.

“Please, Harry, please,” Louis whined in the pillow and Harry leaned down to press a kiss to the back of his neck.

“Yeah, baby,” Harry breathed, after five years still amazed by what a good rimming could do to this boy. He searched for the lube with his eyes before he spotted it on the coffee table. He kept his finger and other hand on Louis’ rim and bum, reached for the lube with the other, fumbling until he popped open with one hand and poured some just above his finger on Louis’ rim.

Louis let out another broken noise and the sensation, moaning when Harry finally pushed his finger inside, up to the knuckle. He bit down on the pillow and panted against it as Harry worked his finger in and out of him, avoiding his prostate. He shifted and made unintelligent sounds, trying to tell Harry he wanted more.

The next finger came with more lube, rubbing over the rim just before Harry pushed them in, leaning forward and pressing a kiss on Louis’ shoulder blade. He curled his fingers inside him, searching for his prostate and he knew he found it when Louis let out a loud moan and pushed back on his fingers. He massaged the spot while pouring more lube on his fingers, pulling out the two and pushing back in with a third.

“Fuck!” Louis cried out and clenched down hard on Harry’s fingers, hips pushing down and Harry watched amazed as Louis came. He could barely register his fingers still inside Louis, because he came fucking _untouched_ , and Harry never saw sexier thing in his life. Louis always loved when Harry came untouched, just from his cock, but he was never able to do the same.

“Harry,” Louis whined, oversensitive at the sensation of Harry’s fingers still inside him, bumping into his prostate as he squirmed. Harry didn’t pull his hand away, instead put the lube on the table and reached under Louis to palm his cock. Louis let out a surprised cry, and tried to get out of Harry’s touch, but it was useless.

“Did you--”Harry breathed, overwhelmed and Louis nodded his head in hopes of Harry letting him go. “Oh fuck--” he moaned and pulled his hand away. “Oh fuck, Lou, I--” he started, and then the next thing Louis knew, he pulled his fingers out of him and he collapsed on the sofa, in the middle of his own come. Whatever. “Baby,” Harry panted in his ear as he leaned down on top of him, fingers wrapped tightly around the base of his own cock. “Baby, can you—? I want to fuck you,” he said, nipping on Louis’ earlobe.

“Harry--” he started, then sighed when Harry’s hand found his ass again. “Yeah, give me a minute, just a minute,” he pleaded, still oversensitive and overwhelmed.

He didn’t have a single thought in his head, and they never did this, well, Louis never did this before. Harry could come three times in a row if they took little breaks between, and he was used to coming untouched. It was a first for Louis and he only came twice in a row once, when he was tipsy and wanted to fuck Harry in a club, but ended up with Harry sucking him off in the doorway, then fucking Harry into the mattress.

“Are you okay?” Harry asked and Louis couldn’t form words so he just nodded. “You _came_ ,” he told him like he didn’t already know. “Just from my fingers,” he breathed in his damp hair. His still slick hand wandered down on Louis’ spine, back to his hole and Louis tried to squirm away, uselessly. “Let me fuck you, baby,” he whispered in Louis’ ear, just because he played dirty and knew Louis was turned on by his voice.

His fingers found Louis’ rim again, pushing down but not in, and Louis was half-hard again, erection never going down. He whined at the oversensitive touch, but Harry rubbed over his hole just enough so he could push two fingers back in. Louis leg jerked, accidentally kicking Harry’s shin, but he didn’t complain, just continue to prep him.

“Harry,” Louis moaned and reached back, but Harry caught his hand and pinned it next to Louis’ head by the wrist. “Enough, Harry,” he whined and Harry pulled out his fingers, reaching for the lube again.

“I want to do you bare,” he said, and it wasn’t a question, but Louis nodded anyways.

Harry slicked up his member with lube, and then took a hold of his cock, lining up and pushing inside. The angle wasn’t the best, Louis flat on his stomach, so Harry couldn’t bottom out. He pulled away, slipping out of Louis’ warmth, and then pulled Louis back on his hands and knees, spreading his legs a little, and then he pushed back in again.

“Fuck yeah,” Harry panted, gripping Louis’ hips as he waited for a second. “Ah,” he moaned and closed his eyes.

Louis knew Harry was only this vocal when he was overwhelmed, learnt the first time he rimmed him. He couldn’t hold up himself on his arms, still boneless from his previous orgasm, and Harry probably noticed too, because he put a hand between his shoulder blades, pushing him down, while lifting a little, so his cock pressed to Louis’ prostate. He started to fuck in and out of Louis, holding him still, chasing after his own orgasm.

Louis was hard again, but he knew he wouldn’t be able to come untouched again, so he reached under him, wrapping his fingers around his own cock. Harry fucked him with power, closed eyes, thinking about Louis coming untouched, and soon he pushed deep inside, holding himself on the hand on Louis’ back, pushing him in the cushions. Just after he came, and could breathe again he noticed Louis’ hand still working on his cock.

“Roll over,” he panted as he pulled out of Louis, and didn’t wait for him, gripping his hips and turning him. He leaned down, in eyelevel of Louis’ cock, then gripped his thighs, pushing them up to Louis’ chest. He let out a broken moan at the first lick on his hole, and it only took another few that he came, crying out loudly. Harry didn’t stop for a few seconds, until Louis’ come covered hand fisted his hair and pushed him away from his hole.

They shared a kiss before Harry collapsed on top of him, boneless and powerless, panting in Louis’ sweaty neck, occasionally kissing and sucking a love bite there.

\------------

“Big news around you, guys,” the host smiled at them, and Liam nodded happily. “Congratulation on your awards, number ones, and honestly, you made too many things this year to remember to congratulate on!” The audience laughed faintly and the band smiled back at the host.

“Yeah, this was a very busy year to us, and it still not over, so we just wait to see what about to come,” Harry nodded, sitting the closest to the host, while they sat Liam between him and Louis, Niall on the other end of the sofa.

“Amazing how you could still doing your thing and moving on as a four piece, and the last few months just proved how strong your fans are,” she exclaimed, and Harry nodded, clapping a little, which lead the audience to break out in cheers. “And what’s more, you reached much more number ones around the world’s charts after your coming out!”

“Yeah--” Harry started, but the audience cheered again. He waited until they were done. “Yeah, it’s amazing to see how supportive our fans are,” he started but the host cut him off.

“And you just came out a few days ago!”

“Yeah,” Harry smirked.

“You made a livestream before the official announcement, was that planned?” she asked and Louis shifted a little, uncomfortable.

“We—erm, we thought it’d be good to the fans to hear the news directly from us, a little less formal,” Harry explained.

“Did it make your press conference less hard?”

“Erm, no, I think both were a little scary things to do because it was something we’ve never done before,” Harry said, looking at Louis, who nodded. Harry wasn’t that happy they couldn’t sit together, because he saw how Louis’ knee bounced up and down. He just wanted to make sure he was okay, but he knew Louis would be even more nervous because of the PDA. Maybe they would never reach a level when PDA would be natural, but it was okay.

“And you did them before your album release, it must be really nerve-wracking,” the host raised her eyebrows.

“Yeah, a little bit, but you know, Louis’ and Harry’s happiness is really important to us,” Liam answered, gesturing between the both of them. “We really hope the fans still support us and their relationship, because we’re very excited about this album.”

As they managed to swing the conservation to the album, Harry finally relaxed and got a look on the monitor to see Louis there. He soon started to speak up, so Harry smiled in relief at one point, continuing the interview. Maybe they weren’t perfect yet, but they were getting there.

\------------

This was the most terrifying feeling Louis have ever felt. He didn’t think that after all those years and all those tattoos he’d still feel the same excitement and fear he always did when they got a tattoo. Now, it wasn’t about just the tattoo because before, they could shrug it off and tell the public “it was just a boat”. Now it was about the two of them getting the tattoo together, at the same time, at the same place, with paparazzi Phil and Ben called to be there.

Louis didn’t even feel the needles poking his arm; he was used to the feeling, but it was still very itchy. Maybe just the mental part of it: knowing he was about to get a matching tattoo with Harry while paparazzi waited outside. Maybe it was that he knew that once the bandages came off everybody would see it and know what it is about. No more separated, shady tattoo ideas they came up with over the last few years, no more discussion that Louis would get the dagger, the compass, or anything else that Harry thought up.

When the tattoo artist finished the lines, he put cream on the sensitive skin, and then covered it with the bandage before he leaned back, signing he was done. Harry stepped closer, standing from where he watched the scene in a chair next to them.

“See?” Harry asked, smiling down at Louis’ skin, pressing his finger just above the bandage.

The two little stripes were barely visible through the wrap, but Harry could see it regardless. Maybe the sight of Louis getting tattooed was now burnt into his brain forever and he didn’t even mind one bit.

Louis, though, he could feel it, the sting under his skin, and the shape of the tattoo on his arm.

“Yeah,” he whispered, not caring that they were at the tattoo parlour.

He leaned into Harry’s chest, still staring at the bandage. The chair was uncomfortable but Louis didn’t care until he watched Harry getting the same tattoo in the same spot.

“I love you,” Harry smiled into Louis’ hair, and gently rubbed the sensitive skin above the bandage.

“I love you too,” Louis sighed.

Louis turned his head to look up at Harry, only met with plump lips on his own, kissing him softly while the cameras’ lights went off outside. It was such a freeing feeling to not care about them, and to finally be able to be who they truly were. Together.

 For a moment, he didn’t care about them, didn’t care about what the public would think about him, about them, and their love, and it scared him for a second when Harry pulled away. He really hoped that that would be their future, that he and Harry would be able to show their love without feeling like they did something wrong like so often in the past few months, even years.

And they both knew that this wasn’t the future for them, that this feeling would never disappear completely. They were in this too long. They had to pretend, lie and act for too long, that he knew they were never going to be the same as before. But it didn’t matter. Nope. Not as long as they did it together.

 

**END**


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